<< Chapter 14: The Way We Were >>

Catherine was in the same pair of PJs she had worn that night with the thunderstorm. She was sporting a black tank top with grey silk pajama pants. When she saw him, her head tilted to the side and Gil could feel himself blush.

“Wow, Gil. Did you work out while I was gone?”

“Um…No. I just…Too much work I guess.” He replied, not giving her the full story of him purposely immersing himself in work. He never wanted to go over that again. He wanted to leave his mistakes in the past, and make sure that he would never make them again; but he knew he would, whether he wanted to or not.

“You look good, Grissom.” She commented as she put her hair up into a bun.

“Thank you.” He muttered, quietly as he placed his hand on his stomach. “So…want to show me the guest room?”

“Oh right. This way.” She replied as she led the way, but it was only a couple of steps as the guest room was between Catherine’s and Lindsey’s room. Convenient, Gil thought. “But Gil…you want to go to bed already? It’s 9:45.”

“Oh. I didn’t realize that the night was still young.” He replied, raising an eyebrow. “What to do though?”

“Movie?” She offered, turning back to her bedroom. Gil gulped and wondered if he could handle it.

“Sure.” To Gil’s disappointment, he could never refuse this woman. He would probably take a vacation off of work before refusing, and that really meant something if you were someone like Gil Grissom.

“I’ll go make some popcorn and you choose the movie.” She told him, her eyes gleaming with anticipation, and Gil could only smile.

“Okay.”

“There’s a whole collection of them in the living room.” She told him, as she pointed to it on her way down the stairs. Gil followed her down, wondering if there was anything he could put on as a shirt. Then he remembered the black hoodie that Lindsey had picked out for him at the mall. He went to grab it from the shopping bag, catching a glimpse of the night outside. He put on the sweater and headed into the living room, with echoing sounds of popping corn.

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“What did you choose?” Catherine asked as she came into her bedroom, popping a few kernels in her mouth.

“A Perfect World.” He replied, turning on the DVD player to put the disc in.

“Did I just hear you right? You picked out A Perfect World? That’s one of my favourites!” She exclaimed, spilling some popcorn and taking a seat on her bed, sitting up against the headboard. “Did not know you liked that movie.” She patted the place next to her.

“There are a lot of things you still don’t know about me, Catherine.” He replied as he obliged her and walked to her bed. He sat on it nervously and he felt as if he could fall off.

“Do I smell or something?” She asked. “Am I that repulsive?”

“No, not at all.” Gil replied, hurriedly. “It’s just…it’s your bed.”

“Ah. The male ego again.” She dragged him closer to her with a hand on his arm. She now sat against Gil with her back on his side, still facing the TV. Gil’s eyes widened as she sighed. “See? That’s better. Besides. A girl needs a pillow.” She added, making them both laugh. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to watch most of the movie. He was glad he had seen it before.

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The movie had met the expectations; Catherine sobbed part way through the movie, and somehow they had fallen asleep.

During the movie, they talked of this and that, but Gil knew she was more immersed in the movie than he was. He couldn’t keep a straight mind with her leaning on him this way. Then at about halfway through the movie, he gave up his ego and put his arm around her, causing her to snuggle deeper into him. He occasionally found himself slightly stroking her stomach as he crunched on popcorn and stopped himself abruptly when he did; the strange thing was, he never heard a word from Catherine. Just a few days ago, he knew he couldn’t have dreamt of this in his wildest dreams, and he pinched himself secretly, just wondering if this was really happening. It was as if they’d stepped back in time, to that night with the thunderstorm. Right then, they were the way they were a year ago, before everything happened.

He knew he could never do this with anyone else, just because it was theirs. Not just because he feared physical contact with anyone else, which was a small factor, but because nights like this one were distinctively their own and he didn’t want anyone else to experience it. But he knew Catherine may have done this with Ian, and suddenly, he could feel every wrinkle, every fold and flap of the bed underneath him as he became conscious of where he was sitting. But somehow, as if entranced by her smell, by her presence, he fell asleep and somehow as if she had been too comfortable, they both fell asleep.

The credits rolled suddenly with loud music, and Grissom flinched in his sleep. He felt her whole body against his, and he froze. His body tensing made her stir. He had his left arm underneath her head, and had his other arm comfortably wrapped around her waist. His nose was right in her neck, being tickled by her strawberry blonde hair. He took the opportunity to look at her peaceful face in his arms.

“Catherine?” She groaned in response and only moved in closer. This was dangerous; too dangerously close for Gil Grissom. He didn’t know if he would be able to control himself with Catherine in this vulnerable position. He could very easily drape his arms around her, and hold her like there was no tomorrow. He could very easily kiss the top of her head, then move down to kiss her exposed neck. He knew he could just confess to her here that he was hopelessly in love with her. “Catherine.” When he received no reply, he decided to let her sleep, and would talk to her tomorrow. As he started to slip his arm out, she mumbled something like a ‘don’t go’ and Gil froze again. She tugged at his shirt, drawing him closer to her. He thought she was still half asleep; he hoped she was. He didn’t know how to get himself out of this situation that he had gotten himself into, but he silently thanked God when Catherine woke up. But that prayer was thrown out the window when she started to cry again.

“Cath? Oh man. Don’t cry.” He wondered if he was like every other man in this aspect; a woman’s tears were his weak point and he knew he couldn’t help it. “Why are you crying?” He held her shoulders as she cried into the pillow.

“How can I not? How do you not cry with this movie?” Her speech was slurred; she was half-asleep.

“I…I’m sorry?” He asked, making her laugh and cry at the same time. “Oh come on. Don’t cry. You’re making me feel guilty I’m not bawling.”

“It’s not your fault. You’re a man, what can you do?” She muttered, her voice slightly muffled by the pillow she had her face in.

“’But the fault dear Brutus is not in the stars but in ourselves; that we are underlings.’” He commented.

“Shakespeare? Still?”

“The occasion called for it.” He replied. She sighed as she turned around, turning the TV off. Her eyes were swollen red with tears and she wiped them on her blanket. “Let me get you those tissues.” He reached for the box on her nightstand and handed them to her. She gratefully took them and wiped her eyes, still hiccupping every now and then.

“Are you seriously unaffected?” She asked, again, absolutely baffled as to how he could keep his composure.

“No. I’m affected. Just not enough to cry.” He replied, glad her sobbing subsided.

“Did I really make you cry, Gil?” She asked, now worried and drawing her legs closer to her. He was silent, looking at the ceiling for a while.

“I was sort of…sort of drunk.” He replied, trying to keep his bit of ego.

“I’m sorry.” She commented as she sniffled again.

“Don’t be. I’m not. It’s the past now. I’m sure it won’t happen again.” He told her, trying to reassure not just her but also himself. He made a vow with that statement; he wouldn’t cry again because of her.

“I don’t want to move.” She sighed as she sprawled on the bed.

“Well I have to go to bed now.” He replied, still not moving a muscle.

“Fine. Leave me.” She gave him a smack on his stomach, causing him to double up for a moment, and turned away from him.

“Hey, you’re not mad, are you?” Gil asked, holding her bare shoulders, trying to make her face him again. She only huffed and Gil scratched his head. “Come on, for real?” He asked, really wondering if she was mad at him. She burst out giggling as she turned over.

“How are you so naïve? You of all people, Gil.” She told him. He gritted his teeth in false anger and squinted his eyes. “Wait. Gil. Don’t. Don’t you dare. I will kick you out of this house if you do.” She was too late. Gil attacked her waists, tickling her like there was no tomorrow. She thrashed this way and that, and Gil held her down with his body. Although Catherine never realized it, Gil had lost all self-control and the only thing he wanted to be at that moment was close to her. His arms went around her and he hugged her to him while his fingers did the work. She buried her face into his shoulder. “Gil, please, stop! Oh God! ” But he continued, until Lindsey burst in the door.

“Mom? What’s wrong?” Lindsey shouted as she came in. Gil stopped and stared at Lindsey. “Um…care to explain what’s going on here?”

“Lindsey…it’s not what it looks like.” Gil explained. He realized he was now on top of Catherine with her facing him.

“What does it look like?” Lindsey asked, crossing her arms.

“I was tickling her. That’s all.” He replied, moving off of Catherine who turned around. “Right, Cath?”

“Of course. Were you worried? What were you worried about, Lindsey?” Catherine asked, still breathless from the endless laughing.

“I heard cries going ‘Oh God Gil!’ from the room, but I guess I was just…not in the right mindset.” Lindsey told them.

“Lindsey!”

“Well what do you expect?” Lindsey asked, as she came closer to the bed. “So, children. Are we done playing?” Gil chuckled and nodded as he sat up straight. “All right. I would like to get some decent sleep, because mom tells me we’re doing something special tomorrow. So good night you two.” Lindsey told them, and walked out of the room with a grin.

“Why is it that I feel like I’ve gone all the way back to high school and that was just my mother.” Gil pointed out for the both of them and they burst out laughing at the same time. He looked at her, and smiled. She hugged him suddenly and Gil could only chuckle as he hugged her back. She kissed his cheek and he smiled when they broke off.

“Good night Catherine.”

“Good night Gil.” He slowly got off the bed and exited with a backward glance and an awkward wave. He paused a while outside her door and he pursed his lips in thought briefly before he headed into his own room, his nose filled with the scent of her hair.