<< Chapter 5: Defence >>

He had never expected her to be single after all this time, but he knew somewhere in his heart he had wished it. What man in his right mind would leave her alone? Someone like him, he added to himself as he listened to Jennifer talk in the background as they headed back to his hotel. Gil knew she had dated other men even when she was in Vegas but this was different. Ian Gates did not fit the type of men Catherine used to date, who were just after the possibility of getting some from the beautiful woman. Gates was a gentleman, and Gil had been intimidated by him from the beginning. He was a man of a respected position and he was leading a fabulous career. He had stability and he seemed to be confident in himself, just enough to have that open-ness, which is what Gil lacked, and  Gil knew it.

As Jennifer was driving, she had never stopped praising the director. He had been the best investigator Seattle PD had ever known and she told Gil that Gates was very similar to Gil himself. Catherine had been dating him for a long time now and the talk of the department was that they were going to get engaged. Gil’s heart ached as Jennifer was telling him the background information on Gates and Catherine no matter how much he tried to filter it out. Gil was dropped off with a thank you and he was left  alone.

He was sitting on his bed, staring at the black screen of the TV as he thought back to Catherine. Shouldn’t he, as her best friend, be ecstatic for her that she had finally met a man she deserved? But Gil felt nothing to the effect, but rather wanted Catherine to be unhappy with Gates, wanted Gates to be harsh to her and not give her the treatment she deserved. He wondered if there was a friend as bad as he, and he also wondered whether it was the hopeless man inside him who wanted these things upon her, and who couldn’t stop himself from sighing as he thought about her again and about the shock that lingered with him from her abrupt departure. He fingered the case file next to him. He opened it, hoping for a distraction. He looked at the clock which read 11:30pm and sighed again. He had told Jennifer that he would be at the PD by 10am. He needed to be up by 8 to have breakfast, and get ready. However, Gil did not want to go to sleep, afraid he may dream about something he shouldn’t and not be able to wake up from it.

The distraction had no effect on him, as he thought back to Catherine. She had looked stunning as she smiled for Gates and his dumb jokes, and unconsciously Gil clenched his teeth. He closed his eyes and he could see her vividly; her red dress with spaghetti straps that Gil knew he could effortlessly slip off, and wearing black heels that Gil had given to her for one of her birthdays over their 20 years of friendship. He could still see her most prized silver bracelet gracing her beautiful wrist. When he opened his eyes he could see his pathetic self reflecting off the TV screen, looking just the way Bill Murray had appeared in his recent movie that Gil proudly hadn’t thought much of. Where was that pride now, he wondered as his whole form slumped under the weight of guilt and desire.

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“What is this?” A white envelope.

“It’s…my notice. I know it’s not weeks in advance…” Catherine stuttering. Not good.

“Wait…you’re really taking that offer in Seattle?” Gil sat up, taking his glasses off and frowning in disbelief. “I thought you were just joking.”

“I thought I was too, but…I’m sorry to leave like this.”

“…Is this a joke, Catherine?”

“I’ve made up my mind.” Catherine replied, fidgeting with her hands. Gil stood up, walked over to her and gently took her hands.

“You can’t leave…not like this. Tell me this is just a joke.”

“It’s not a joke Gil. I…I’m scheduled to fly out today.” She replied, her voice shaky.

“Today?! What the hell, Catherine! I’m still your supervisor!”

“I know…and…”

“Please do NOT tell me I am the last one to know about this.” He told her, surprised at how angry he was becoming, so fast.

“…I’m sorry.” Her voice made his anger vanish without a trace, and the only thing left in his heart was fear.

“Am I being punished? Did you up the ante? Is it because I don’t talk to you?”

“No, Gil…”

“Because I can change Catherine. I’m capable of change, you know.”

“Gil…”

“Just…give me a chance.”

“To do what Gil?”

“To…” No answer. No words for what he was capable of. What he would do for her if she would just stay.

“I…Don’t try to stop me now.” Catherine told him, looking into his eyes. “This is for me and Lindsey…” Gil stopped her by taking her into his arms and fearfully holding her onto him.

“Catherine…please..give this more thought? Just…don’t leave right now. Let’s discuss this.” He begged, his voice shaking. He couldn’t understand why, and she started to cry and she clung to him for the last time.

“Bye Gil.” He never fully understood. It was too sudden, even for Gil.

And she ran out of his life, leaving Gil wanting to believe it was all a nightmare.

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“Grissom!”

Gil looked up to find Jennifer jogging towards him. He stood up from the bench in the now-familiar waiting area. She handed him a cup of coffee.

“Thanks, Jen.” He told her as he took a sip. He was surprised by the authenticity of the coffee scent and flavour and wished he could take a bag back to Vegas.

“Let’s go to Trace. They have something.” She told him, excitedly. They walked in unison out of the PD and headed to the Forensics Lab a block away. The afternoon was cool, and the autumn leaves were falling, going unnoticed by the people that were out for walks with their beloved dogs and significant others.

When they arrived at the lab, they headed to Trace first and was bombarded with information. The fiber in the victim’s mouth was from a towel which had traces of a prescribed drug. Jen called the PD to do a quick check. They found DNA still struggling to get anything out of the evidence and the Prints Lab was still working on overload from other cases.

Gil didn’t notice as Jen’s pager went off, because he was in deep thought, wondering as to what to make of the information.

“Hey, Gil? It’s the AD. She wants to see us in her office.” Gil’s head shot towards Jen.

“The AD? Why?” He asked, impatiently. Jen frowned.

“Um...I don’t know. We’ll see.”

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The office was crisp with the high-end furniture with mahogany wood which gave the office the executive feel it needed. The office was unfamiliar and Gil felt awkward as he strolled in.

Catherine was sitting back in her leather chair and when the door opened, she sat up.

“Gil, Jen. Sit down, please.” Her voice was unusually cold, and Gil wondered if he had just forgotten what her voice used to sound like to him in Vegas, or wondered if it was Seattle getting to her. “The director wants to be updated and he’s in a meeting, so I’m kind of the middleman here.” She looked at Jen and only fleetingly glanced at Gil. “What’s new?”

Jen looked at Gil with raised eyebrows and Gil sighed.

“The fiber in vic’s mouth was doused with a prescription drug. PD’s working on it now. Prints and DNA are still in progress.” Gil reported, monotonously, as professional as he could sound. He gave her an emotionless gaze. She shifted.

“Well that’s good. What did Matthew say?” Catherine linked her fingers as she nodded, looking directly at Gil, challenging him on.

“Um…oh. TOD was a week ago. COD was positional asphyxia, lividity fixed. Blood pool on her back but was found face down. Finger missing, probably frozen and dumped.” He reported quickly, not wanting to lose a beat and Jen frowned at Gil’s beginning stutter. Catherine nodded and Gil could almost feel her victory in the air. He clenched his teeth.

“Okay then. Let me know if there’s anything else.”

“Of course.” Jen replied as she stood up. Gil was late in standing up and he seemed troubled to Jen.

“Oh Jen. Can I talk with Dr. Grissom alone for a minute?” Catherine asked as she took off her glasses. She hadn’t changed a bit, Gil thought as he looked at her.

“Sure. I’ll be outside.” Jen gave Gil one last look before she closed the door. Gil sat down again.

“I talked to the sheriff. He wants this done fast, and I mean record time. What is it with Vegas and its sheriffs.” She told him and he sighed. “Ian and I both want it done, but…we’re not pressuring you to make miracles, here.”

“I know...I’ll do my best. I…I’ll leave as soon as it’s over. I understand your positions.” Gil shifted. He felt knots in his chest, and they were twisting again and again.

“Gil…” Her voice softened and his eyes shot to hers, and he was afraid of the emotion that his eyes may give away. “How did we come to this? To the point where we can’t even be in the same room?”

“I…” Gil couldn’t say anything, because even he didn’t know why he was doing this to himself and Catherine. “It’s all my fault. I apologize for…for not returning your calls, your emails, and…I was just really busy and…”

“You don’t have to defend yourself to me Gil.” She told him, as she stood up, straightening her jacket and pants. He looked at her as he too stood up. They stood knowing what should be done but unsure as to how to do it. Gil clenched his teeth as he told himself he needed to leave and he painfully turned around to head out the door.