Lying beside you
Here in the dark
Feeling your heart with mine

They lay entwined, their bodies seeming to melt into one another, breathing in unison. He gently tucked a wisp of her hair back behind her ear, to allow himself to drink in her features, not for the first time counting his blessings as the thought of what he'd almost lost shuddered through him.

He kissed her forehead, gently pulling her body closer to his, delighting as her soft warmth heated his flesh. He gently stroked her naked back, watching enthralled as her features changed, a smile playing around her lips although her eyes remained closed.

He wanted her closer. Times like these, when it was just the two of them together, was when he sought reassurance, they'd make love, then lie together, and is he watched over her as she fell asleep, his mind would be tortured with what they'd so nearly thrown away. On such occasions he could not get close enough to her, wanting to draw her constantly closer, share her heat, her breath her very essence, to reassure himself that she truly was there with him in their bed.

He kissed her again, squeezing her body closer to him, if that were possible, enjoying the feel of her skin pressed against his.

Softly you whisper
You're so sincere
How could our love be so blind

She stirred slightly, the lids of her eyes fluttered slightly before opening and her blue eyes fixed on his. "Hey." She smiled.

"Hey yourself."

Her smile grew. "I love lying here with you. I love the way you make me feel so safe, so secure in your arms." She broke the connection their eyes had made, nuzzling her head against his chest, before planting soft wet kisses above his heart. Each kiss seemed to burn through his skin, filling him with love and hope for their future. It was as if she knew of his fears and sought to reassure him with this simple act. He dared to dream of an `ever after' with her, the strength of her kisses, her love seemed to fight off all of his doubts.

He kissed the top of her head.

She once more sought out his eyes. "I love you." She whispered, slowly her eyes closed once more. Her breathing settling into the steady pattern that assured him that sleep had once more captured her.

But for him sleep was elusive, as his subconscious sought to remind him of the journey they'd made to reach this nirvana he was now in.

We sailed on together
We drifted apart
And here you are
By my side

They'd always had some attraction. To him it had been obvious; it scared him that he could feel so intensely about someone else. Maybe that was why he'd hesitated, that and his inability to recognize her feelings for him. This cursed uncertainty that had tried to create an unfathomable chasm between them had been their undoing.

She had been a constant in his life. Her presence, one of the few things he'd come to rely upon. He was aware that she was different to the others, they shared a history, a friendship, an understanding greater than that he shared with the others on his team. She understood him, cared for him, read his mind. There was an ease to his dealings with her. They would tease each other, driving him to a frustration that he could only relieve in the privacy of his own townhouse. And yet he felt his feelings were unrequited.

He failed to notice the way she spoke to him. The love she emitted with her words of concern, her frustrated anger at his stubbornness nor the way she seemed to provide the levelled reason to his theories. He failed to observe how his was different to her communication with others within the lab. How she reserved this love, concern and counsel purely for him.

Her physical closeness was another detail he'd not recognized. Granted she was always quite tactile in her dealings with people, a lingering characteristic from her previous life. She seemed to seek the comfort of his space, the mere act of walking down a hallway would see her closing the distance between them, seeking to brush against him tantalisingly with her shoulder, her arm, her hip. Those days would see him returning home seeking a release from the burning temptation she offered. She would frequently seek out his touch, leaning into him when he was brave enough to graze his hand against the small of her back, take hold of his arm or lean into his body when she sensed him standing behind her. A tortuous dance they played out over months and years but never once sought to complete.

Her smiles and the looks she retained especially for him, he appreciated, yet did not value their rarity. Thinking misguidedly that these were shared with others. Looking back now he thought himself a fool for not recognizing the fire of desire that lit her eyes when they argued, the light of love that shone through to him when she smiled, how her laughter made his stomach somersault and the blood vacate his brain.

Yes he was a fool, not only for his failing to her, and the signals of love she sent, but for the comfort he sought in recompense for not being able to have her. He'd chosen the ease of a relationship with another, rather than fighting for his heart's desire, and in so doing he knew he'd fractured their relationship. The chasm between them was created when she pulled away, no longer able to face him, and he let her slip away.

So now I come to you
With open arms
Nothing to hide
Believe what I say

He'd missed her that was the beginning and the end of it all. The simple fact that his heart ached for another, while pretending to love someone who was trying so hard to keep hold of what they'd coveted for so many years, was his undoing.

He'd run away. Sought to clear his head. Put a distance between the complexities of loving two women in two completely different ways. But they'd followed him; in his dreams they each played out their love before him, leaving him to wake sweating and seeking a release.

He'd tried to banish them, by striking an all too brief relationship with a new teaching colleague. It lasted barely a week; one night in his bed had been enough. The guilt he felt to all three women had seen him end it. He smiled there was still something honourable inside him, that he would feel guilt for one night of pleasure, after he'd left one relationship unresolved, and another, well it hadn't even started.

Returning to Las Vegas a short time later, he'd tried to resolve life with Sara, only to be overwhelmed by the ache in his heart. Things had changed between them, while she still seemed to desire him; there was a distance between them. It seemed as if now she had him as her own his value to her had decreased. Almost like she'd won some sort of competition with herself to gain control of his heart, and now she needed a further challenge.

Their relationship continued, partly due to his own fears of letting her go. If he were to end what he had with her, he'd be forced to admit to himself what he truly felt for Catherine, and he was not strong enough to do that. She still frustrated him, forcing him to seek out time away from Sara to act upon those frustrations, to allow his mind to consider the possibility, even if it were only in his dreams of being with Catherine. It held an intensity beyond what Sara could provide which added to his fears.

It was not until his relationship with Sara had died, had been lost for several months before he could hide his feelings from her no more.

So here I am
With open arms
Hoping you'll see
What your love means to me
Open arms

It had been one of those nights when they'd slowly started to repair the rifts in their relationship. They'd been working together, and the banter between them had slowly started to return.

For the first time in a long time, she'd started to lean into him, seek out his presence. He didn't know how or why, but from somewhere his courage had not deserted him. He'd placed his hand in the small of her back as he guided her to his office.

"Hmmm."

"What?" He'd asked.

"You've not done that in a long time."

He smiled. "Is it okay?"

"Am I complaining?"

By the time they'd reached his office, he'd lost interest in continuing their discussion about the case. He wanted to spend time with her, and not to review cases. That night she'd seem free, happier than she had of late. He wanted to continue that feeling, lose himself in her presence.

"Ok, I see we have three options." He offered.

"Three?" She'd asked.

"Well," He smiled, "You and I can continue to discuss the case and max out on overtime. We could call it a night and start with fresh eyes, each going to our own homes. Or…" He paused, gulping in a breath.

"Or what?" She smiled.

"You could come to my place for breakfast?"

"Really?" Her eyes lit up. "You'd cook for me?"

His heart leapt at her excitement. "It would be my pleasure. So I take it that's the winning option?" He chuckled as she nodded her head vigorously.

By the time they reached his townhouse, the anticipation he felt was making him nervous. It had been too long since she'd last been to his house. Almost as long as it had been since they'd stopped being so close. The closeness where they could complete each other's thoughts, hold silent conversations and anticipate the moves of each other. He felt a pang of regret as he contemplated their lost time, but was reassured when her hand sought out his as she led him to her door.

Living without you
Living alone
This empty house seems so cold
Wanting to hold you
Wanting you near
How much I wanted you home

As they'd entered, he'd quickly found solace within the kitchen area. Sneaking occasional looks at her as she wandered around his living area, taking stock of the small changes he'd made since her last visit. She eventually sought him out, sitting at the small table he had in the kitchen watching him cook.

"I like the changes, the walls are brighter, it makes it look bigger."

He smiled. "Thanks." Not willing to admit that had been one of Sara's ideas, not wanting to open old wounds.

"It smells good." She sniffed he air exaggeratedly. "If I were on death row, I think I'd ask for you to cook me my last meal."

He chuckled. "You, death row, not going to happen."

"You think you know me so well eh?"

"Ok." He straightened his face, coming to stand mere inches from her, dropping his voice to barely above a whisper. "And just what would put you on death row?"

"Killing the person who stopped me doing this." She took hold of the back of his neck, pulling his head towards hers, her breath mingled briefly with his, before their lips joined. She grazed his bottom lip with her teeth, seeking entrance to his mouth, which he gladly gave. They continued to explore each other's mouths their tongues grazing each other as they moved.

It was the smell of burning food that broke them apart, Gil swiftly moving to the stove to switch off the power, and move the pan to an empty ring allowing it to cool down.

"I'm sorry." He quickly turned around. "If you give me a few moments I'll start breakfast off again."

She stood, putting a hand on his shoulder instantly stopping him. "Is that what you want? Breakfast?"

"I thought…I mean...I…You…"

She brought a finger to his lips, stopping him. "Shhh."

He opened his mouth wider; his teeth grazed her finger as he took it inside his mouth, gently sucking on it, his tongue swirling around it, before he let it go. All of the time his eyes held hers, gauging her reaction and seeing his desire reflecting in them. He finally released her finger.

She pulled back from him slightly, taking hold of his hand; she pulled him towards the sofa. Pushing him down then nestling next to him. "What are we doing here Gil?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"No, not really." She shook her head. "You've just come out of a long term relationship. There was this great distance between us, which somehow today we seemed to have bridged. I came here for breakfast and…" She looked towards his groin, and then returned her eyes to his. "You've made it clear there's more than that going on."

He blushed. "I wasn't the one who started the kiss."

She smiled. "I know, but one kiss does not normally mean I strip naked and allow you to drive me insane."

He smiled, allowing a silence to grow between them. He traced the outline of her face with his index finger, tracing her lips, then slowly tracing a line down her chin, along her neck, down to the valley between her breasts. He smiled as she moaned in reaction, and arched her body towards him, so his hand made firmer contact with her left breast, he squeezed it slightly, and then hoarsely whispered. "I love you Catherine Willows. I always have, I was just afraid to admit it."

He brought his lips to hers, his teeth grazing her bottom lip, seeking entry, which she gladly allowed. As their tongues duelled he pulled her closer. She moved slightly, her right leg straddling his legs, so she was sat in his lap facing him, gently rocking backwards and forwards, delighting in the sensations as her core teased and rubbed his growing erection. Her hands played with the curls at the nape of his neck. His right hand slipped from the small of her back, the fingers then the hand slipping down the back of her jeans, grazing the top of her panties as he encouraged her rocking with gentle pressure. His left hand sought out her stomach under her shirt, the fingers first of all tracing gentle circles, before travelling upwards to her breast. He traced around her left breast, with feather light touches; delighting in the soft moans he was causing, then he pinched her nipple, causing her to gasp and break the kiss.

He pulled back, pushing the hair from her face, before holding it gently but firmly between his two hands. "So what do you say?"

"What?"

"Do you love me?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to make this work?"

She smiled. "I've loved you from a distance for too long, for it not to work. Promise me one thing?"

"Anything."

"Promise me you'll fight for us, make us work with all of your being, I can't do this for a few nights of bliss." Tears filled her eyes.

"I promise you this will be my forever."

She smiled and leant in for another kiss.

But now that you've come back
Turned night into day
I need you to stay

He'd carried her, to his bed. Slowly they'd explored each other's bodies, driving themselves into a frenzy before they'd finally joined. As they lay, entwined, taking comfort from each other's bodies, Gil had gently drawn soft circles on her shoulder, with his fingertips. She'd softly kissed his chest.

"Forever?" He'd asked.

"Forever." She replied. "I love you Gil Grissom."

"I love you Catherine."

So now I come to you
With open arms
Nothing to hide
Believe what I say

Gil pulled his wife closer, wanting her close, a feeling he never tired of. "I love you Catherine. Happy Valentines Day."

She snuggled her head against his chest, her right hand resting above his heart. "Happy Valentines my love."

So here I am
With open arms
Hoping you'll see
What your love means to me
Open arms

The End