The drive from the hospital was completed in silence. Gil kept glancing towards Catherine in the passenger seat, but did not break the silence. He knew she needed the time to come to terms with all that had happened in the past few hours, he'd taken the liberty of calling Ecklie and arranging for Catherine to have a few days personal time added to the days she'd already arranged, offering the services of his team to cover if needed. They'd stayed with Lindsey for another hour or so, until she fell asleep. Then despite Catherine's initial protests, Gil had insisted on taking her home.

As he pulled into her driveway, he noticed how cold it appeared and how vulnerable Catherine looked. She glanced across at him, pulling on her bottom lip slightly, weighing up something she wanted to say. Finally she asked. "Would you like to come in? It's okay if you don't I just…"

He reached across and gently caressed her hand. "I'd love to." Offering her a reassuring smile.

Catherine turned on the lights, then immediately headed for the kitchen. She called over her shoulder. "Will coffee be okay?"

"That'll be fine." He replied. He walked across to the fireplace, his eyes drawn to a series of photographs sitting in frames on the mantelpiece. Each one charted a new year in Lindsey's life, some were of her on her own, and some with Catherine, others with Eddie, there was only one family portrait of the three of them. The smiling faces staring back at him belied the fractured family they'd become.

He looked up as Catherine came in with coffee; he offered her a smile, as she passed him a mug of coffee. "Thanks."

"I'm sorry, I forgot to ask if you wanted something to eat, you must be starving, I could make you a sandwich, or cook you something, but that might take a while, unless it was something quick like an omelette or…"

"Stop, Catherine please." He placed his mug on the coffee table before him, and he caught hold of her arm. "I'm fine honestly, just sit here with me, that's what I'd like."

She looked at him, momentarily puzzled, and then uncertainty filled her voice as she asked. "You sure. You don't have to stay with me here, I'm fine you know, well I will be."

Gil sat on the sofa, pulling Catherine to sit beside him. "I have nowhere to be right now. I want to be here, with you. Make sure you are okay."

She looked away from him, fiddling idly with her hands. "I'm fine Gil, I told you that already."

"I don't believe you."

Her eyes shot to his face, narrowing in displeasure. "What?"

"I said I don't believe you. Your daughter has been spending the past I don't know how long trying to push you away, nearly got herself killed, is in the hospital and you say you are fine. You are either heartless, which I know is not true, or you are lying."

Catherine returned her concentration to her fingers. "She's okay though. She's talking to me."

"Yes, now she is, but a few hours ago, well you and I both know that wasn't true. Don't you even want to know what we talked about, Lindsey and I?"

"Err…it's none of my business, I mean I don't want to intrude."

He looked at her, seeing the fear once more taking residence in her eyes. He reached out, taking hold of her hand preventing her nervous fidgeting. "Are you scared?"

Slowly she nodded her head in reply, closing her eyes to hide the true extent of her fears from him.

"Catherine, honey, it's okay. You have every right to know what I said, what we talked about. I think it's important that you do know."

"I don't…no it's foolish."

"What, Cath? Tell me what you're frightened of."

She looked up at him, tears threatening. "I'm so grateful to you. You've done so much bringing Lindsey back. I know there's still a lot to do, but you have made the both of us face some truths we tried to hide. It's like a wish has been granted to me, I know it's stupid, but I feel like if you tell me, the spell will be broken and I'll wake up tomorrow with things back the way they were. And I…I." She shook her head; her eyes falling away from his, her voice grew quieter, more vulnerable. "I don't think I could go back to that."

Gil could resist no longer, and pulled her into his arms, hugging her. "Honey, I promise it won't. I know that if you know what Lindsey and I discussed, it'll only make things better. You'll be able to talk to her about what went on when you were married, you are going to need to do that. I've told her some things, but she is going to have questions. It's best for you to be prepared for them when she does come to talk to you. I also promise to always be there for the two of you. I'm not going to run away. I'll be there for you and Lindsey should you need me. I promise."

Silence initially greeted his words. After several long seconds she relented. "I understand what you are saying. Ok. So after the doctor came and told us about the surgery, what happened?"

**************

Gil followed the nurse as she led him to Lindsey's room; he paused before entering, the importance and enormity of his task suddenly hitting him. He needed to do this for Catherine, for Lindsey and in a small way for himself as what he'd witnessed in the emergency room, the hatred, and the despair of people he counted as family had hurt him.

Taking a deep breath he pushed open the door to Lindsey's room. No words greeted him, but he was all too aware of her eyes following him, trying to gauge his reaction to her. He pulled up the plastic chair so he was sat beside her, and waited a moment before speaking. "Lindsey?"

"Yes?" Her voice was a mix of barely hidden nervousness and attempted defiance. She was all too aware that her earlier display and her recent request to the doctor would bear some consequences.

Keeping his voice calm, hiding his anger and trying to sympathize with the small girl who was before him, he asked. "Why are you refusing to see your mother?"

The bluntness of his question caught her by surprise. She opened her mouth, barely stuttering. "I… She…" Then clamped her mouth shut, choosing silence as a form of attack.

"You? Your mother? What?"

Silence was his only reply, her chin jutted out slightly as she visibly bit her lip, refusing to give in to his patient silence.

Gil sighed. "I thought you wanted to see me. I thought you could at least talk to me. But what I'm seeing now is a petulant, spoilt teenager, who does not deserve to have her mother worrying about her."

"She doesn't care."

"She what? Lindsey you need to be careful with what you say next."

Her huffy sigh answered his comment. "It's typical, she tells a whole bunch of lies and everyone goes running to her, listening to her, worrying over her, nobody cares about the people she hurts. Nobody cares about dad or me…" Tears became the better of her and she turned her face away from Gil.

Gil took hold of her left hand, clasping it and gently rubbing the top of it with his thumb. He wanted to hug her, hold her close, convince her that her words, her fears were not true, but he also knew she needed to be ready to listen. Right now she needed to cry, he needed to allow her this time, let her lose some of her anger before it consumed her.

As her crying started to cease, he snatched a tissue from the box beside her bed and passed it to her. She blew her nose noisily, and he passed another so she could dry her eyes.

"Feel better?" He asked.

She nodded and then as if she suddenly realized he was still there stated. "You stayed."

"Yes." He offered her a smile. "Lindsey I'm not going to pretend I agree with your view on your mother. I want to help. I know you love your dad, but I also know you don't know all that went on when you were a little girl."

Her chin jutted out defiantly. "I do. My dad told me. He told me mom had got fanciful ideas above herself and didn't want us anymore. He said she only wanted to keep me to hurt him and didn't really want me. She loves her job and cares about that more than she does me or dad. All she ever did was try to push him away, she thought he wasn't good enough and all he ever wanted was for us to be a family. She stopped that. She hurt him. She hates me because I remind her of him. I'm not good enough for her, never was, never will be. I bet she wishes I'd died with dad, then she could spend all of her time with work and not have to worry about where to shove me next so I'm out of the way."

Gil took a moment to register what she'd said. He knew she was hurting, but had no real idea as to the depth of the hurt and now it was revealed it shocked him. He took a couple of calming breaths then made sure he gained eye contact with her. "Lindsey, if you want I can tell you the other side of that story. I can tell you what your mother never has, but if I'm to do that you may hear some things you don't want to. I just think it's about time you heard the truth. Do you trust me?"

She nodded slowly, her eyes not leaving his.

"Do you want me to tell you?"

The air in the room seemed to close in around them. Lindsey chewed on her lip a little more, then quietly answered. "Yes."

Gil took a breath to calm himself before starting. "How long have you known me Lindsey?"

She frowned slightly, she was expecting him to launch into a narrative not ask her questions. "Since forever."

He smiled at her reply. "Do you remember coming to see me when you were little."

She looked puzzled, still unsure of why he was asking her these things. "Err..yes. We used to come to the lab all the time."

"Is that all?"

She screwed her face up, concentrating. "You came over to our house sometimes, when dad wasn't there. We went to your house too."

"Do you remember Frogo?"

"Frogo?"

"A little green frog toy."

She smiled. "Yes. Yes I do. What happened to him?"

"I still have him. At my house."

She pouted. "I thought you were going to tell me about mom not some toy I had when I was a baby."

"Well, Frogo is important to the story. You first met him when you were a couple of months old. Your mom appeared at my door, you were crying in her arms, she should have been sleeping..."

Lindsey snatched her hand from Gil, angrily crossing her arms. "I knew it. Dad was right. Mom was sneaking around seeing you when she was still married to him."

"That's not true, and I think you know it. I think you know the reason why you came to see me so much when you were growing up. I think you have hidden it away as it hurt you or worried you. Your mom when she came to find me did so as she was hurt or scared."

Lindsey chanced a glance at Gil out of the corner of her eye. In a small fear filled voice she ventured. "Why?"

Gil tried a reassuring smile. "Honey, this is going to be hard to hear, are you sure you want to?"

She nodded and reached for his hand to encourage him.

"Well your mom and dad did love each other. You need to know that despite all that happened to her your mom still loved your dad even when they were divorced. But they used to argue; sometimes it was your mom that started it, sometimes your dad. Your mom will tell you she did her fair share. But your dad, when he got angry he wasn't always in control, he'd start to hit out at things, often your mom. That's why she came to me. She was scared he'd hurt you."

"He wouldn't, daddy loved me." Tears started to well in her eyes.

"I know he did honey, and he loved your mom. But sometimes when people get angry, I mean really angry they don't know what they are doing. When your dad used to get angry, sometimes your mom had to get away. She'd bring you to my house or the lab, and you would be happy so long as you had Frogo."

"So why did she decide to leave him if she loved him?"

"Because one day she wasn't quick enough to get you out of your dad's way. He hit you."

Lindsey screwed her face up. "You're lying."

"You said you trusted me Lindsey. I'm not lying. He took hold of her left arm, moving the sleeve back, to reveal a faded scar on the inside of her lower arm. Do you know how you got this?"

Lindsey pouted. "I fell, hit my arm on a toy fire truck I'd borrowed from Jeremy. I had to have stitches."

"Do you remember how you fell?"

"Mom was shouting at dad, he was shouting back. I fell. Next thing mom and dad weren't shouting anymore and mom took me to the hospital."

"Why did you fall?"

"I don't remember."

"I think you do."

"No I don't."

Come on Lindsey, don't lie."

"I'm not lying. I'm tired Gil, can we do this later. I really want to sleep."

"I think it's important that we do this now. Lindsey your dad went to hit your mom and…"

"No! I told you I don't remember. I don't want to remember. Daddy didn't mean it, he didn't, it was all my fault…." Sobs overcame her.

Gil had tears in his eyes, as he went to sit on the bed, he pulled her head towards him and gently stroked her hair "Shhh, Lindsey, it's okay, it's okay to remember, it's okay to cry."

After a while, Gil became aware of her sobs lessening, she shifted slightly, and he looked down to see her face, which seemed to be engulfed by her two huge eyes. "Why didn't she tell me?"

"I don't honestly know, honey. But I think it has a lot to do with not wanting to hurt you." When her expression changed resuming her earlier pout, Gil shifted slightly so he could see her face more clearly. "What is it?"

Tears threatened to spill down her cheeks once more, her lips trembled as she fought to maintain control. "I don't know…"

Gil sighed. "Lindsey, your mom loves you. Loves you more than she does anything else. She didn't want to hurt you."

"If she didn't want to hurt me, why didn't she tell me? I believed dad, I thought I knew she didn't love us, and now this. Why?"

Gil put his arm around Lindsey's shoulders, wanting to maintain contact and in so doing hoping to offer her some comfort. "Your mom felt responsible; she knew that she could have prevented what happened to you. She was ashamed, embarrassed, she thought she shouldn't have let herself or you get into that situation."

"But dad was hurting her, I'd have understood."

"Would you? Really? Honey everyone knew Eddie thought the world of you, he was so proud of you. Your mom grew up without a dad. She had a stepfather, but she wanted more for you than that. She was willing to sacrifice everything to make you happy. And she has hasn't she?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well she's lost you, your love, your faith in her." He felt her stiffen next to him. "You've made it clear you don't want her around you."

"But…" She half mumbled.

"Lindsey, I'm not going to take sides. I'm not going to tell you what to do. Just listen and answer me honestly. If your mom really did not love you, would she have risked her life to get you out of the car the night your dad died?"

"I guess not."

"Would she have taken you to the morgue, made you face up to the consequences of your actions if she really wanted to be called out to find your dead body?"

"No"

"Would she have tried to change her job, leaving the people she knew and trusted so she could spend more time with you if her job came first?" Silence greeted him. "Would she take time out of shifts, to see you, talk to you, each time she had a case involving a child, if she did not worry over you?"

"I suppose not."

"Does she deserve the way you are treating her?"

There was silence, Gil looked at Lindsey, tipping her chin upwards so he could see her face, see the silent tears that were running down her face. "I'm sorry."

"Shhh, honey, there's still time, your mom never stopped loving you. If you tell her you're sorry, I'm sure she'll understand. One thing I do know about your mom is her heart is big enough to forgive."

"But …I've…been… so …hateful…" Lindsey sniffled.

"Honey, you were hurting. We all do things without thinking when we're hurting believe me."

"Do you think mom would see me?"

"I'm sure your mom would love to see you."

"Will you stay with us too?"

"Only if you want me to."

"I do. And Gil?"

"Yes."

"Thank you for telling me the truth. You are a good friend to me and mom, I'm glad we have you."

"I'm glad to be in your life honey, remember that. Any time you need me, or want to talk you only need to ask. Don't let things get this bad again, promise me."

"I promise."

He stood then bent over her bed, kissing her cheek. "You are loved Lindsey remember that."

"I will."

**************

As Gil completed his recount, he looked across at Catherine. She'd untangled herself from his hold on her as he'd begun to talk, moving slightly away so that she could focus on his words. He saw the tears, that had threatened earlier, had managed to break free. She sniffed as the room descended into silence, her immediate reaction was to hide her emotions, she turned away from him and started to stand, only to have his hand pull her back. "Come here." He pulled her to him, holding her as she sobbed, gently stroking her back, until she was soothed.

"I'm sorry." Were her first words when she was calm.

"Honey, you have nothing to be sorry for."

"I shouldn't have put you in that position. I should have been a better mother, not let us lose our way, Lindsey and me."

"I don't want to hear that. I don't want to hear you doubt yourself again. You are a great mother. All you have done has been for Lindsey's benefit. You tried to protect her, keep her from being hurt. You have no reason to doubt."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Did you mean what you said earlier?"

"What was that honey?"

"Promising to be there for me and Lindsey."

"Yes. I care a lot for the two of you. You are the closest to a family I have here."

"I've always known Lindsey thinks of you as more than a family friend. She wouldn't have listened to you otherwise."

"And you?"

"For me, you are more than a friend too. I care for you. The timing's not great now, after all that's just happened, but when will it be right…" She blushed slightly, suddenly losing the nerve to continue.

"What are you saying?"

"I guess I'm trying to say I love you, not very well I know, and before you think it's because of all that has happened, that may have pushed me to finally admit it, but I've felt his way for a long time. I just…the timing just never seemed right." She looked at him, her eyes meeting his, trying to determine his reaction.

Gil smiled. "I've waited a lifetime to hear you say that. Once Lindsey is out of the hospital, would you like to see if we can get that timing right?"

She smiled in reply. "Yes."

"Good." Now you get some rest. I'll come back in a few hours to take you to the hospital. "Sleep well." He kissed her on the forehead, then stood, quickly leaving the house, to go and check on events at the lab.

As Catherine lay in bed that night, she slept, the deep sleep of the untroubled, for the first time in a long time.

The End