I had a good life
Before you came

Gil Grissom's face appeared impassive as he sat in the front of the Denali, while Nick Stokes calmly drove them towards their destination. He was maintaining a good facade to those around him. Yet his mind was in turmoil.

He was about to turn his life upside down, and for what? It wasn't as if he was discontent with his life. He was happy. He had savings in the bank, a house paid for, and a good job with benefits. He was able to indulge in his interests; he had no real concerns.

He had disagreements, times when he would have gladly walked away from his job, but that was reality. He knew of few people who would not be pushed to such limits on occasions.

So what was it? What was causing him to gamble with his life? He sighed with contentment, a slight smile playing around the corners of his mouth as he thought of her, his Catherine.

They'd been friends for what seemed like an eternity. He'd revelled in that friendship. They had a unique connection, a mutual support system that he did not know he needed until she'd arrived.

Yes, life had been good before Catherine, but she had only enhanced the enjoyment of it.

I had my friends and my freedom
I had my name

She wasn't his only friend. He was not quite that deserted by his peers. He had an eclectic group of people to call as friends. He was not a career snob, like some of colleagues, ensuring he had the right group of people surrounding him. Most of the people he called friend had been in his acquaintance for many years. Few were lost over the years, and they had mainly been taken by illness or accident to another place.

He had no ties as such. There was no reason why he could not suddenly leave for a conference at a matter of hours notice. No one to question him spending unpaid overtime in pursuit of the truth. He was, to all observers, free of the restraints that tied others down.

She'd been like a whirlwind in his life. Making him live, cliché he knew to think that, but that's what she did. She had been the one to make him realize that there was life outside of the lab and the bugs. He smiled, remembering the many expressions that would be cast over her face at the mere mention of cockroach racing.

So he'd ventured out under her tutelage, sought what others called normality. That elusive relationship that would bring him the untold happiness the media tried to promise as his right.

Still there was sorrow and emptiness

He'd thought he'd found it, that love, on several occasions. Each time beside him, helping him overcome the new hurdles maintaining a relationship threw before him, was Catherine. It seemed so natural, that she was there. He needed her advice, drinking in her words of wisdom, yet all the time wondering what if it was her he was trying to confess his love to. Who would help him then? But then, if it were Catherine would he need the help?

Thoughts of a relationship with her, were the musings of his wildest imagination, what could he offer her? Why would she consider him as anything more than a friend?

So he'd sought it elsewhere, under the mistaken belief that he would find happiness in the arms of another. To be truthful with himself, it wasn't all bad, it just wasn't right. He found a sense of comfort, but not the depths of feelings he was searching for. He knew that only a fool believed in lightening flashes and sparks of electricity, but he expected to feel something more.

There was more though, something he still found difficult to accept, a consequence of his actions that had to be faced. In his pursuits he'd nearly lost her. In his last attempt at finding love, he'd done more than nearly lose her; he'd hurt her. A pain he knew was difficult to heal for both of them. She'd felt betrayed by his pursuit of Sara, in hindsight she had every right to feel this way, he'd always told her there was nothing there between them, despite Sara's advances, yet now Catherine was finally free, his inability to confess his feelings, had him seeking out Sara.

There was also a guilt that lay heavy on his heart. He did not feel guilty for trying to gain the love of another, Sara. No, the guilt he felt was due to the hurt he'd inflicted on Catherine. She'd tried to brush it off, hide the feeling away, but he'd seen the look that had crossed his face as he'd mentioned each step of their newfound relationship. A year of his life invested for what? A brief feeling of comfort, belonging, but not love, he knew that. He'd felt hollow, empty when he was with her.

He'd caused Catherine a lot of sorrow and hurt. He promised himself to do all within his power to repair that hurt.

'Til you made me glad
Oh, in this love I found strength I never knew I had

The Denali slowing and coming to a gentle stop momentarily broke him from his reverie. Looking up at the simple stone building, this place where his life was about to change, he smiled.

It could all have been so different. He'd nearly lost his chance at love. It was only due to the hurt that he'd caused that the truth of their feelings had been exposed. It seemed more than a little perverse to him that by causing her heart to almost break, he'd find that deep love he craved.

Oh and what joy that love had brought him. It went beyond anything he had imagined. He had a deep regret that it had taken him so long to discover this, knowing that Catherine, for whom he felt this, was right beside him for so long. But that knowledge seemed to make what he now felt more precious in many ways. Having journeyed far to find this truth he was not about to let it slip from his grasp.

When he was with her he felt whole, cliché he knew, but he had no other way to describe the feeling. It was as if suddenly he had found that elusive missing piece to complete his heart, his life.

He found a joy in life he thought had been lost as real life invaded on the nirvana like existence of childhood. He'd had to grow up fast, not hard for a child who'd often been described as old beyond his years. He'd taken on responsibilities and enjoyed the trust he'd gained from this, but in doing so, somewhere along the way he'd lost that joie de vivre his peers had relished in. On finding love with Catherine, it had been a reawakening; all that had been suppressed so long ago had come bubbling to the surface.

He found joy in the simplest of things, so long as it was for or with his love. The smell of rain as it hit the grass during summer, would remind him of kissing her in the rain, their bodies soaked, yet still their lips were joined as their tongues completed some intricate dance of love, their bodies would complete later.

The scent of roses as he entered an office building would bring forth a smile, as he thought of the taste of her rose scented skin as he explored it languidly with his kisses, while she lay naked beneath him, additional rose petals scattered on her bed. The flickering lights of candles causing her skin to shimmer under its intensity, while he delighted in the shivers his touches were inducing.

The laughter of his team would cause him to join in, if he could, he would wink at her, in silent communication. Images of her squirming as he would tickle her, knowing that the sensation of his hands playing with her body in such a way only served to arouse her, the result being borne out in their bed. He would delight in the spark of recognition such a wink would cause to flash in her eyes, revel in the slight blush that would brighten her features. He'd find himself drawn to her, needing to touch her in some way, to connect with his love. A simple touch of hands for now, but knowing that they would reaffirm their love by joining completely within the sanctuary of their bed.

Just a glimpse of her hair could render him senseless, as he thought of kissing her hair, letting the silky strands run through his fingers, feeling her locks brush against his bare chest as she showered him with kisses.

Through the growth of his love for Catherine, he found strength. Suddenly the anguish of what they found other people capable of seemed bearable. For he knew that when he returned home his love would be waiting. He would be able to experience ecstasy and love, which for him, would prove that the whole world was not depraved. It would reiterate his reason for fighting; his cause now had a face, a reason, his Catherine.

And this love
Is like nothing I have ever known

"So are we going in, or are you going to leave her at the altar?" Nick's teasing voice brought him back to his current position.

Gil turned to see the younger man's smiling features. "Why would I leave her?"

Nick grinned in reply, knowing that really there was no need to reply to him. "Congratulations Gil. I know you two…well what I mean is you belong together. You look good together. I only wish it hadn't taken the two of you so long to wake up to each other."

"Me too, Nick, believe me, me too."

The two men shared a grin, before exiting the car and entering the church.

Take my hand, love
I'm taking you home
I'm taking you home

As she'd entered the church, a few minutes after him, he'd drawn in a breath to steady his nerves, pinching his left hand to convince himself this was reality and not some trick of his mind.

She looked stunning in a simple ivory floor length gown. Her hair was pinned back from her face with tiny red rose buds holding back the curls. She carried a bouquet of red roses to match the flower he wore in his buttonhole. Her joy was evident in the smile that seemed to grow wider as each step brought her closer to him.

As she met him at the altar steps, he took her hands in his, raising them to his lips, before smiling and saying. "You are beautiful."

A light blush and a widening of her smile was her reply, followed by her whisper. "I love you."

He squeezed her hands, "I love you."

Their hands remained joined throughout the short service, only separating briefly so they could collect the respective rings for each other to wear.

They headed down the aisle, hands clasped firmly as they smiled at the friends who'd gathered to share in their commitment.

Gil was determined that now he hold of Catherine he would not let go. He was taking her home as his wife and there was nothing that compared with the joy he felt at contemplating that action.

There were days, lonely days
When the world wouldn't throw me a crumb
But I kept on believing
That this day would come

As they climbed into the back of the limousine, that was waiting to whisk them to the reception that awaited them, Gil took a moment to drink in the scene.

He had just promised his life to a woman he thought would never consider a relationship with him. There was no doubt in his mind that the journey he had taken to get to this point in his life was worth it.

Through knowing his new wife, and learning to love her and be loved, he'd changed greatly. No longer an introvert who hid behind the microscope, he'd found that life, when you opened yourself to it was full of opportunities. He'd also learnt the important lesson that eluded so many of his professional colleagues, you had to go in search of that life, it wasn't going to hunt you down.

Catherine had pulled him, at first unwillingly in this direction. But after his first faltering steps, when he felt that every door was closed to him, that he was alone in this new world that had been revealed, he found his constant in her. She was beside him, gently encouraging him, opening his eyes and his mind to realize that there was a place for him in this new world she'd revealed.

Knowing now that she was there with him, beside him was worth the personal struggle with himself he'd encountered to get here. His only regret was that he'd not offered to share his life with her sooner. Yet, by taking those small steps, trying to find love with others, he'd discovered a lot about himself and to his own mind that made him more confident that this choice he'd made, to share his life with Catherine, was the right one.

From the moment their love had been voiced, he'd known in his heart that this day, when they would finally share a name, was only a matter of time. He wanted the world to know she was taken, that she was his, and he hers. As he sat beside her and looked into her eyes seeing her love reflected back his heart swelled.

And this love
Is like nothing I have ever known
Take my hand, love
I'm taking you home
I'm taking you—home
Where we can be with the ones who really care
Home, where we can grow together
Keep you in my heart forever

The speeches had been made. They'd danced in celebration, shared glasses of champagne and been filled with the toasts of good wishes from friends and family. Now it was their time. A time to be alone.

They climbed into the limo, knowing that this was where their new life started. They were going to their home alone. Lindsey was spending a few weeks with Nancy and Jeremy in California. A plan her sister had concocted the moment she'd heard of the wedding plans.

Gil took hold of Catherine's hand as they glided through the streets. He could not get close enough to her, nor her to him.

As the driver slowed outside their new home, Gil smiled. "We're home."

"That sounds nice." She smiled in return. "Our home." A slow sigh escaped her lips.

The door was opened by the chauffer, Gil exited first, so he could offer his hand to Catherine as she climbed out. Her feet had barely touched the sidewalk when she was swept up into his arms.

"Gil…What are you doing?" She giggled.

"Tradition says I carry you over the threshold, so that's what I'm doing."

"I love you." she giggled once more, and then started to cover whatever part of his face she could reach with kisses.

They managed to make it into the house, without incident. Gil would not let her be released from his arms until he'd carried her up to their bedroom and laid her on the bed.

He'd left her briefly to lock the front door and retrieve some champagne he'd put in the refrigerator that morning, with a couple of glasses.

On returning to the room, he'd discovered that she'd already slipped out of her wedding dress, it hung on the outside of their wardrobe. She was sat on the bed, wearing an ornate, strapless ivory basque with matching briefs. Her legs were still clad in stockings. He gulped, his heart was racing, how could he be so lucky as to have such a beauty love him?

She looked up at him as he entered, a hint of shyness and nerves clouding her features. He quickly placed the champagne and glasses on the bedside table, and shrugged off his jacket, before sitting beside her. He kissed her gently, and then stroked her cheek as he released her lips. "I love you Catherine."

"I love you too." There was something in her tone that scared him.

"But…" He traced the tops of her breasts with his fingertips, wanting nothing more to than to taste that skin, but knowing that right now she needed her fears to be abated.

"It's nothing," she shook her head as if attempting to banish the doubts.

He captured her lips again in a soft kiss. "It's something, you have doubts? Regrets?"

She looked up at him, her eyes wide. "No. I don't regret marrying you. I love you. I guess…I'm a little scared, nervous even. I want this to work, to be our forever, I don't want to make the mistakes I did with Eddie. I love you too much. I don't want to hurt you. That frightens me."

He pulled her into his arms, gently rocking her back and to. "I love you Catherine. You are my forever. Our love will grow, so long as we are honest with each other, as you have just been. Don't be scared, I'm here for you. You have a place in my heart, you always will have. This love of ours is too strong to fail."

They stilled, she moved back from him a little, then shifted so she was facing him. Slowly she moved towards him, sharing his breath before their lips met, their tongues started the dance they knew so well.

And this love
Is like nothing I have ever known
Take my hand, love
I'm taking you home
Taking you home

As they lay naked, sated from the sharing of their love. Their hands once again entwined. Catherine shifted slightly, her head resting on Gil's chest, their legs entangled. Her breathing deepened as Gil lulled her into sleep with soft caresses to her head.

She had brought him the comfort, the security of home. He'd not known the warmth love could bring to a house until he'd fallen in love with her.

Lying here now, on their wedding night, knowing of all the nights before them, he was content. He'd found his home with his love beside him.

And this love
Is like nothing I have ever known
Take my hand, love
I'm taking you home
I'm taking you home

The End