Gil Grissom was lonely.

He knew he had no reason to be. He was in a relationship. Granted, it was a very strange relationship, and he felt that he wasn't involved as much as he should be, but it was still a relationship.

However, since Sara had let on to the rest of the team members about their relationship, he had noticed strange and subtle differences in the way his "family" felt about him.

Jim Brass was healing well at home, and Sofia Curtis was spending a lot of time with him. When Gil had gone over to check in on his friend though, Jim had been almost uncomfortable, and it seemed a little disapproving. Greg and Nick had become terse with him, and Warrick just seemed uncomfortable with the whole idea.

But Catherine.

Hers had been the reaction that surprised him the most. She was barely speaking to him, communicating only when it was absolutely necessary. There was no more teasing or spending time together. Just a very stony silence.

For some reason, this made him lonelier than he had been when he wasn't in a relationship.

With a deep sigh, he made his way into the break room, preparing to hand out assignments. Sara sat there, smiling a huge grin at him. Nick, Warrick and Greg stopped chatting amiably the instant he walked into the room. Catherine sat off to the side, alone and silent.

"Alright," he said, trying to be upbeat. "Sara, you and Greg have a smash and grab down at Henderson. Catherine, you and Nick have a 419, and Warrick, you and I have a dead body in a dumpster."

He watched as Catherine left the room, leaving Nick to come up and grab the assignment. Sara accepted her file with a "Thanks, Griss" and headed out, Greg following meekly behind.

"I'll get the Tahoe," Warrick said, heading for the car.

"Warrick.wait."

The younger man paused in the doorway and turned around. "Yeah?"

"What's going on?" Gil asked.

Warrick looked mildly confused. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean," Warrick," Gil said sternly. "Something's been off with the entire team, and I want to know what it is."

"Why ask me?"

"Because you would know. And because half my team aren't talking to me."

Warrick sighed and slumped into a chair. "This thing with Sara - is it serious?"

Gil looked confused. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"That's the whole reason for this. Nick is jealous, Greg and I are pissed."

"Why are you and Greg angry? I don't understand."

"Because you broke Catherine's heart," Warrick growled.

Gil froze. "What?"

"The way she looks at you." Warrick rolled his eyes. "Geez, Griss, men would kill to have her look at them like that! She's hurt - not just because you didn't tell her what was going on in her life, but because you didn't pick her."

"I."

Warrick stood up. "We've got a scene. And the less I know, the less likely I am to punch you."

Gil watched in amazement as Warrick left the room. He frowned, realizing that something needed to be done. And soon.

--

At the end of the shift, Gil was finishing up some last minute paperwork in his office when Sara came in and closed the door. He looked up and sighed.

"Sara."

"Hey, Griss." She sat down in his chair. "Ready to go home?"

Gil took a deep breath. "No, Sara, I'm not."

She smiled. "That's okay. I can wait."

"There's no need. I'll be going back to my house, and you'll be going back to your apartment."

Sara frowned. "I don't understand."

He put his pen down. "This has to end."

"Why? I thought it was going well."

"We're not suited, Sara. I can't make you happy, and I'm sure you can't make me so. I'm losing people in my life that I care about, and I can't let that happen."

"The team will get over it."

"The team is only a very small part of it, Sara. I'm your supervisor, you are my subordinate. Our relationship is hurting my family."

Sara narrowed her eyes. "You didn't tell me that you told your mother about us."

"I didn't," Gil said bluntly. He sighed. "You're a friend, Sara. A good one, and I respect you both as a person and as an investigator. But this is not going to work. It can't. It's hurting too many people."

"So that's it?" Sara asked.

Gil nodded. "I'm sorry, Sara."

She sighed and got up. "Me too."

--

Gil stared at the door to Catherine's house. He knew that this wasn't going to be an easy conversation. Particularly if Catherine was as hurt as Warrick said she was. Resolved to his fate, he lifted his hand and pressed the doorbell.

Moments later, the door opened and Catherine stood before him. As her eyes took in his form, she frowned.

"What do you want, Gil? I'm off the clock."

"We need to talk." He took a step forward and noticed that she hadn't moved to let him in.

"What about?" she asked.

"It's important," Gil told her. "Please, Catherine."

She shrugged her shoulders and opened the door a little wider. He walked in, making his way to the living room. The front door shut and Catherine joined him.

"Talk," she said.

"I know I've hurt you."

Catherine looked at him blankly. "I'm fine."

".with my relationship with Sara." Gil watched as she barely hid a wince. "And I'm sorry."

"What you want to do in your personal life is none of my business. We're colleagues."

"I thought we were more than that."

Catherine said nothing. Gil had never seen her so cold. So hurt and defeated.

"I miss my friend, Cath."

Her eyes narrowed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I miss you."

"I'm here. I work with you. Pretty hard to get away from me."

"What can I do to fix it?"

"Fix what?" Catherine folded her arms. "I can't help you, Grissom."

"I have to do something."

"You want to do something?" Catherine glared at him. "How about you go back to your girlfriend and leave me alone! You can't do this and just try to slap a Band-Aid over it! You broke it, Gil and you can't come here and expect me to fix it so you can mollify your guilty conscience!"

He said nothing for a moment. "I'm not with Sara anymore, Catherine."

"Then if you came looking for pity, you've come to the wrong person."

"I know I hurt you."

"No, you don't know. Because if you knew, if you had ANY idea what you had done, we wouldn't be having this conversation. You'd understand that I don't want to talk to you - I don't want to see you! Go and find another friendship, Gil. This one is over."

"You don't mean that."

Her eyes flashed. "Wanna try me?"

Gil sighed. "We can't end it here."

"It's already ended, Gil. It's over. You and me - are finished."

--

Gil knocked on the door of Jim Brass's house, and looked up at the woman who answered it.

"Gil," Sofia said, obviously surprised to see him.

"Is Jim here?"

She nodded and let him in. "He's in the den, swearing at the ballgame."

Gil made his way through the house, coming into the den where Jim sat in his favorite chair, watching the ballgame.

Jim looked up, arching an eyebrow. "Grissom. You look like hell. I thought I was the one that got shot."

"I just went over to Catherine's."

Jim gestured to the chair beside him. "Then I take it back. You should look like hell."

Gil sent his friend a look and he sank into the chair. "I hurt her, Jim."

Jim nodded. "Yeah, you did."

"I didn't realize how badly until I talked to her. She won't even be friends with me anymore." Gil rubbed his hand over his face. "Warrick said I broke her heart."

"Tell me when I'm supposed to look surprised," Jim told him.

"I broke up with Sara."

"Okay."

Gil turned to look at Jim. "You know, any input you want to give here would be appreciated."

"What do you want me to say? That you hurt her? You know that. That she's pissed. You know that too. That you broke her heart? Warrick told you that. That I want to punch you for hurting her? Surely you're not that blind."

"You want to punch me?"

"Absolutely and."

"No punching, Jim!" came Sofia's voice. "The doctor said no exertion."

Jim muttered something under his breath. "Fine, fine."

"Can you please just explain to me what I did wrong and what I can do to fix it?"

"You really have no idea what you did wrong?"

Gil just stared at him.

"God, for a damn scientist you're pretty stupid."

"Jim."

"Catherine Willows has been in love with you for years. Over a decade. You are, or were, her best friend. Now start looking at what you've done to her. You didn't tell your best friend that you were starting a new relationship. With a colleague. A younger colleague. These two women aren't exactly the best of friends. You've kept her out of the loop. You've never acted on your feelings for her." Jim looked at his friend. "Am I getting through to you yet?"

Gil seemed to be reviewing everything Jim had told him, and the way Catherine had been. "Oh god."

"The light dawns." Jim eased his chair back.

"I have to fix this."

"Yes." Jim looked over at him. "Now would be a good time."

Gil nodded. "Right. Thanks, Jim."

Jim smiled. "Just make sure I don't have to punch you."

"JIM BRASS! There will be NO punching!"

--

Gil knew that his chances of getting into Catherine's house were slim to none, so he took out his emergency key and unlocked the door. The house was quiet and dark, save for the low him of the television set in the den.

He followed the sound and found Catherine curled up on the couch. Her head was in her hands, and he could tell by the way her body shook that she was crying.

It broke his heart to know that it had been him to cause her this much pain.

"Catherine."

She almost jumped off the couch in fright and whirled around to yell at him. "What the HELL do you think you're doing? Do you think it's funny to sneak into people's houses and scare the crap out of them? Or do you just want to torture me by ignoring everything I ever ask of you?"

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I knew you wouldn't have let me in if I waited at the door."

"You're damn right I wouldn't have." She brushed some unshed tears from her face. "What do you want, Grissom?"

"You." He shrugged. "Just, you."

Catherine paused, thrown off-kilter by the remark. Gil took a step closer to her, and she took a step back.

"No," she whispered. "You can't just come in here, tell me that and expect everything to go back to the way it was. You hurt me. Too much this time."

"I know I hurt you. And I'm sorry."

"Why her?"

"What do you mean?"

Catherine's face, stained with her tears, looked into his eyes. "If you want me, why did you go to her? Am I too old for you? Too much of a sordid past? Is it Lindsey? Eddie? Why did you want to hurt me?"

"I'd never want to hurt you, Catherine. And as for the other things - they never entered my mind." He sighed. "After what happened to Nick, I was afraid. I was so lonely, and I was so scared that I was going to die and no one would care."

"I would." She folded her arms. "And why go to her? Why not come to me?"

"You're my best friend, Catherine. You mean more to me than anything in the world. I was afraid. Afraid that I might go to you and you'd turn me down. Things would change. I'd lose you."

"Things sure backfired on you."

Gil nodded. "Yeah, they did."

Catherine sighed. "What do we do now?"

"I know I hurt you. I don't think I realized how much I hurt you until we talked. I love you, Catherine. You've always been the one to tell me how to act with people. How to deal with feelings."

She bit her lip. "People who love each other don't sleep around to fill a void."

"Dammit, Catherine!" Gil clenched his fist in frustration. "Haven't you ever felt so alone that you'd give anything to have someone near you?"

The look she gave him was pure ice. "Yes, Grissom, I have. The first time I married Eddie. The second time, you treated me like shit and told me that it was why you didn't go out. And the third time, is right now."

"So I'm an ass. I agree with you. What can I do to fix it?"

"Why can't you just accept that something is broken and can't be fixed?"

"Because I don't believe that about this. I don't believe that about us."

"Did you think? Before you slept with her? Did you even think for one second before you slept with her?"

"What do you want to know, Catherine? That I wanted it to be you? That I've always wanted it to be you? That I used to want to kill every guy you were with because they got to touch you?"

"At least you know how it feels then," she replied.

He nodded. "Yes. I do. And I'm sorry." Gil took a step closer to her and was relieved when she didn't back away from him. "Catherine. I need to fix this. I have to fix this. I know I hurt you and I hate myself for it. I won't lose you because I did something stupid."

Catherine bit her lip, her eyes watching him carefully. "What do you want from me?"

"You know the answer to that, Catherine."

She nodded. "Yeah, I do." Her hands fell to her sides. "I also know that I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

Gil moved closer to her again. His fingers reached out to brush against hers. "I know you are."

Catherine looked down to where their fingers were touching. The all-encompassing love that she felt for this man was taking over. The aching hurt that had consumed her at the discovery of his relationship with Sara was still there, but this tender man, who touched her so gently and had such a tight grip on her heart, was trying to push it away.

"Gil."

"Catherine, please. I know I deserve your hate and to be pushed away, but I can't lose you. Lose this."

Her hand curved so that it sat nestled in his. Their eyes locked and he watched for any hesitation as his hand curled around hers, gripping it tightly.

Gil didn't move for a moment, watching as she let him take her hand. She moved closer to him, her other hand tentatively resting on his chest.

"Cath."

"Shh," she whispered, a finger resting on his lips. "Just."

Their hands still joined, they moved silently into a hug, Her arms lifted to encircle his neck, her head resting against his chest. Gil's arms curled around her body, hugging her tightly to him.

"I love you," he told her earnestly. "I always have."

Catherine's lips curved slightly into a smile. "I know, Gil. I love you too."

FINIS