If I should stay..
Well I would only be in your way...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I hope this is a lesson that Lindsey never has to learn. I don't want her to go through this kind of pain. It's surprising, that as someone who has always spoken her mind, I didn't in this.

Perhaps I should have.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
And so I'll go and yet I know..
That I'll think of you
Every step of the way...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I'm leaving Las Vegas. Lindsey and I are moving to Miami. I thought I could take it, but I can't. I can't see him with her.

My resignation letter is on his desk. I placed it on top of everything else, but I don't know if he will see it or not. I don't know if I care anymore.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
And I will always love you..
I will always love you..
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

What am I talking about? I'm a fraud. I'm in love with Gil Grissom and have been for a very long time. But because I was stupid and too afraid to speak up, he's now with Sara Sidle. They haven't been together long, but it still hurts. I wonder if maybe I was younger, or into bugs more, would he want to be with me? Or is it that I was a coke addict that stripped for other men?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Bittersweet memories..
That's all I have and
All I'm taking with me..
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I will never forget or regret a moment I spent with Gil. All the times we worked on cases together, all the times we just talked. Everything he helped me through. Every time he was there for me. Just being in his presence, just talking to him, or something simple, like having breakfast, or running through a case.I will never regret a second of it.

I just hope she takes care of him. I hope she doesn't whine too much, or make him become vegetarian or anything silly.

He obviously doesn't need me. Why would he need an ex-addict, ex-stripper, single mom who is so extroverted and yells at him about his house and doesn't have the guts to tell him how she feels.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
But I will always love you..
I will always love you..
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I refuse to cry. At least not here. I can cry at home, in the safety of my bathroom. I run the shower and sit on the floor, sobbing my heart out like a baby. Lindsey doesn't know why we're leaving. She thinks I just got a new job.

And that's what I'm letting the world think.

It's not what I think inside.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
And I hope life will treat you kind..
And I hope that you have
All you ever dreamed of..
Oh, I do wish you joy..
And I wish you happiness..
But above all this, I wish you love..
I love you..
I will always love you...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I stare at the door of his office for a moment before I leave. I furiously wipe at the tear that slips down my face, and, holding my head high, walk out the door.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I, I will always, always love you..
I will always love you..
I will always love you...
I will always....
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Gil Grissom opens up a letter of resignation. His fingers run over the name Catherine Willows. He reaches the end, glances at a photo on his desk, and races out of the room.

It is a photo of Catherine.

FINIS