The house was packed with friends, relatives, and old work colleagues ready to pay their last respects. It had been a hard day on all of them. It was difficult to bury someone who had always had so much influence on all of them. They wondered aimlessly around the house reminiscing, condoling, all the while keeping a watchful eye on their host.

Catherine was tired. Physically and mentally drained. She had found that by sitting, people came to her, instead of her to them. She was not sure her legs would stand it anyway; the arthritis in her joints had been threatening to rob her of any decent mobility for years now. Today, she felt every second of her sixty-nine years. Today, they said, was the first day of the rest of her life. Today was the day that all of the people around her expected her to let him go.

There was no way she was ever going to do that. Gil Grissom, her love, her life, her soul, had finally been put to rest, his pain finally over, while hers could only continue. He had promised never to leave her and he really had not. Not while she kept holding onto his memory. Their daughters understood; they knew how strong the bond between their parents was. They missed him as much as she did.

Catherine Grissom had lost the very thing that made her real. Gil had given her completely unconditional love and she had thrived on it every single day. Now she felt like someone had ripped into her body and pulled him away. She felt her own pain, and the pain of her girls.

She looked around for them. Lindsey was carrying food around for their guests. Despite the fact she was now in her late thirties and getting on with her own life, losing another father had been tough. She had come straight home to Catherine and taken charge for her. Catherine hoped she knew just how grateful she was for that. Lindsey had been there for her all her life, had been a best friend to her. She never had a favourite child, but Lindsey had been so special in a comforting way. Lindsey had helped her to adjust to the growth of her new family.

Amy was helping her elder sister carry trays of food. She had inherited pretty much everything from Catherine; her strawberry blonde hair, her facial expressions, and her temper, which had led to her having a few clashes of personality with her parents from time to time. She had gone in the complete opposite direction to her parents. She had trained as a teacher, and once she had graduated, she left, got a husband, a baby son, and a good job teaching in Texas. Despite all their differences, Amy missed her father terribly. She admitted often that he had been a great influence on her life, and she was grateful for it.

Catherine looked over towards the couch to see their youngest daughter sat alone, staring into her drink. Lauren was quite a bit younger than her sisters. She had not been planned, but had been the most amazing surprise nineteen years ago. She was her daddy's little girl, and he had spoilt her rotten all the time. She had his eyes, his mouth, his calm and collected temperament, and his intelligence. She was just like a smaller version of him, and they had spent almost every spare moment in each other's company. Lauren had gained his love for bugs, and was starting a career in criminology and forensics because she wanted to follow in his footsteps. Catherine looked at her now knowing she would be the one to feel his loss just as much as she herself did. Her heart broke for her daughter as she wandered just how they were going to cope.

"Catherine?"

A familiar voice broke through her thoughts and she focused on the woman in front of her.

"Please come and sit down. Everybody seems to be scared to talk to me."

Sara Stokes smiled sadly and took a place next to her friend. Catherine regarded her for a few moments. Sara had aged well, her hair was whitening, her face had a few more lines now, but her smile still lit up her face. She had always been attractive. Nick was a very lucky man.

"How are you holding up?" Sara asked finally to break the comfortable silence.

"Better than I thought I would be. Better than Lauren is, anyway." They glanced over at the teenager.

"She's been so quiet all day. It's going to be tough for her, they were inseparable."

"I know." Catherine sighed. "She wants to take a year out, stay here in the house."

"What do you think of that?"

"I think I'm fine with it. It may give her some time to sort herself, and that way I won't be alone in the house. I think I may need her here."

"What about Lindsey and Amy?"

"They're staying until the end of the week and then I'll kick them out again." She smiled, something Sara was glad to see. "They've been a godsend these last few days. I wouldn't have been able to do anything without them."

Almost on cue, Lindsey came up, placing a comforting hand on her mother's shoulder.

"Ok Mom?"

"Hey, baby. I'm fine. Tired, but fine." She placed her hand over Lindsey's giving it a squeeze. Her presence was already a comfort to her. "It's more than can be said for your sister."

Lindsey nodded sadly. "I'll take care of it, Mom. I'll take her to speak to Uncle Warrick." She waited until Catherine agreed before leaving to help her sister.

Catherine turned to see Sara studying the photos on the mantelpiece and she smiled. Most of her favourites were there; Her, Gil and the kids the day after Amy's sixteenth birthday taken in the garden; Lindsey and Amy's graduation pictures; the girls at Universal Studios; Gil and Lauren with her first pet tarantula. She walked over and picked up a picture of her and Gil on their wedding day.

"That was a good day." Sara remembered it fondly.

"It was." She kept the picture in her hand and turned to face Sara. "You miss him a lot."

"I do, but you know, he was a good friend to me." She could not meet Catherine's eyes. Sara thought she knew what the older woman was getting at.

"You had a crush on him."

"Catherine!" She looked up in shock.

"I'm old, Sara. I'm not going to mince words anymore."

"Was it obvious?"

"Sometimes. I know you asked him out to dinner that time."

Sara became even more shocked. "How? Did Gil tell you?"

"Of course not. He would never have betrayed your trust that way." She watched Sara relax a little and fix her focus on the picture right beside her; Gil all suited up and ready for a conference.

"He said no. It completely tore me up."

"I guess it would have done."

"I thought it was love. Took me a long time to realise it was just a crush. Then I saw what I really wanted was right in front of me."

"What was it you liked most about him?"

"His brain. He had all the intelligence of every man I'd ever dated put together and so much more. I used to love listening to him while he was thinking aloud. He never shied away from anything. I wanted to be able to have deep and meaningful conversations with him all the time." Years ago, Sara would have shied away from such a question and would never have made an answer like this. Catherine had always been a formidable woman, and Sara had been slightly scared of her. Now, she was older, wiser, and realised there was no room in her life for something so petty and meaningless, especially now. Now was the time to be honest.

"You know what I liked?" Catherine asked, the picture in her hand now hugged against her chest. "He was always willing to put others over himself. Always. If he ever decided to do something, he thought about what it would do to other people first. I remember when we were sat in the doctor's office, and he had just told us that Gil had cancer. The first thing he said to me afterwards was `what am I going to tell everyone, Cath'." She sighed, blinking tears from her eyes. "He was the most caring person I've ever known. I love him so much."

She stopped. Looking to Sara for help, the younger woman put her arms around Catherine's shoulders. A brief hug, but one that made sure Catherine knew that her friend would always be there for her.

"Most of the females he ever worked with seemed to have a thing for him, and he never knew. It just never occurred to him in the slightest the effect he had on members of the opposite sex," Catherine said, a sad smile in her face. "I can understand why."

"I never said anything to you when it became clear that you and Gil were seeing each other. I was jealous at first, but I could see how happy he was. That's what I wanted. To be as content as you guys always seemed to be."

"And are you?"

"Yes." She answered without hesitation and smiled.

"We were happy everyday we were together. Even when he couldn't get out of bed, and the pain was so bad for him, something inside us was still happy. Just to be there talking and touching." She looked away, back to the photos trying to compose herself. "You and Nick remember that through every pain, know that you love each other."

"I will." Sara nodded.

"I know."

"Catherine, what are you going to do now?" Sara was concerned about the future for Catherine. She could only imagine how she would be if she lost Nick.

"I don't know. I need him here to tell me, but that's not going to happen. You know, last week... He'd only been dead twenty-four hours and I wanted to die too just to be with him again. I couldn't live without him in my life at all. I lay on the couch crying, trying to think about something, anything, and I heard Lauren upstairs throwing things around her room. Gil used to do that sometimes when he was really upset. And I knew that no matter what happens, I still have my children, and I love them just as much. And Lauren is still here with me. I'm not sure how I'm going to cope with such a blatant reminder of him everyday, but I have to help her get through this. She's my child, and I've always done what I can to take away her pain. It will help me too."

"None of us will ever forget him, Catherine. I'll never forget him." Sara had started to cry gently, only just beginning to see the depth of pain Catherine felt. Catherine placed a hand on her arm.

"I know. I appreciate it." She gestured behind her. "Go on. Go see Nick." She knew at a time like this, the best place to be was in the arms of the one you loved most.

The memories of him were everywhere in the house. Now they caused pain, but sometime soon, she knew they would bring her contentment once again. She turned to the wedding photo again.

"Goodbye, Gil," she whispered to it, safe in the knowledge that she would be with him again someday.

The End.