The seconds ticked away. Each click of the second hand travelling slowly around the clock face cut into Catherine's heart. It may well have been someone stabbing her in the heart with a knife for all she cared. Aside from for her beautiful daughter, there was nothing left. The man who owned her heart, her best friend, her soul mate, whatever name you wanted to call him by, was getting married in an hour. To someone else.

She glanced up at the clock again. She should have been making her way to the church by now, although she doubted Gil would notice if she was late. He would not be paying attention to her today, only to his beautiful fiancé. Lindsey was already there, her first time as a bridesmaid. She was excited to be one, and she had enjoyed all of the dressing up, even though she would have preferred her beloved Uncle Grissom to not be marrying someone who would take him away from her family. Catherine should have been there with her by now. But she just sat in her kitchen, already dressed and made up, wrestling with her conscious. She should be there, but she didn't think she could bring herself to watch the love of her life get married to some other woman.

One day, about seven months ago, they had needed an outside expert for one of their cases. Eleanor Daniels was called in. Catherine knew the instant she saw her that Gil would fall for her. She knew him better than anyone was aware. Eleanor was exactly his type, she was tall, had long blonde hair and blue eyes that would captivate him, and probably most of the other men in the world. But it was what was underneath all her physical attributes that Catherine knew he would really go for. She was intelligent, worldly, a lover of healthy debate, and enjoyed crosswords. She even liked his spiders. Catherine knew she would capture his interest and eventually his heart. She had been right. And it was tearing her apart.

It was unfair of her to think ill of his bride. She was a wonderful woman. All credit to Eleanor. She had brought Gil from his shell, transforming him in front of everyone's eyes. The others on the team had noticed this transformation and drawn their own strengths from it. The change in him affected everyone, bringing the team closer together. She had proved to be a good friend to Catherine too, they had both suffered from ex-husbands, and other such pains in life. They had spent many a time mulling over their past problems together, and laughing about them.

That fact just made Catherine feel even worse for feeling the way she did. After everything, she liked Eleanor, just not Eleanor with Gil. She must be a horrible, insensitive person to feel this way about her friends.

"I'm happy for them," she called out to no one in particular, trying to convince herself of that fact. She forced herself to believe in what she had just said. When she saw them together, their hands held in each others, their eyes staring into the others, the quiet declarations of love and affection, she did try to be happy for them. It wasn't until she shut her eyes that she saw herself in Eleanor's place. Her hand clutched inside Gil's, her eyes he was staring into, her being told that he loved her.

Gil had asked her once what she thought about his new love, whether she was happy for him. She remembered the conversation well. They were in a small café they often liked to go to. She had a cappuccino, he had a black coffee, one sugar. He wanted to know how she felt. So she told him that she was glad he was happy, his happiness was what she had always wanted, but that it should not have mattered what she felt if he was happy. She shut her eyes, the memory of his reply had lived in her head like a video clip. She could recall it exactly.

"Catherine. You are the best friend I could ever have. Your opinion means more to me than anyone's ever could. I couldn't go through with this if I didn't have your blessing."

She wondered if he knew how his words had always affected her, how his voice had always reached right into her soul and soothed her. At the time, her whole body screamed at her to reveal herself to him. In reality, she gave him her blessings.

`Stop it, Cath,' she berated herself. `You can't think this way anymore.' She tried to hold back the tears.

The sound of the doorbell brought her away from her thoughts, and she reluctantly made her way to the door, knowing who would be on the other side.

"Cath." Warrick could not help but stare in awe at the beautiful woman who opened the door to him. Her hair had all been done up in ringlets, her dress was a gorgeous deep red colour which swished around just above her feet. He took a deep breath and tried to remember how to speak. "Are you ready?" It was then he noticed her face, and the pain she was trying to hide.

She led him in through the house, back into the kitchen.

"Warrick, I don't think I can go."

"Why not?" He was concerned. There was something obviously wrong.

"I'm not feeling well," she lied. Well it was not really a lie. She really did feel sick.

"You can't miss Gris' wedding. He'll miss you."

"He's got more important things to worry about than whether I'm going to throw up in the middle of the ceremony or not." She looked up at Warrick, and saw the concern written all over his face.

"Cath?"

"Please Warrick. Just let me stay. I'll get some sleep, try to get myself better."

He watched her, thought over what she just said. It was not the real reason she didn't want to go. He stepped over to her and pressed the back of his hand to her forehead, playing along with her charade. "Ok. Look after yourself, Cath. I'll come and check on you later."

"Thank you." She followed him back out to the front door, watched as he opened it. "Tell Gil I'm sorry."

"You know Cath, if you'd told him how you felt years ago, things would have been so different."

She watched him sadly, tears ready to spill from her eyes as he turned away from her and headed back out to the car. She shut the door, leant back against it and let the tears fall freely, sobbing as she collapsed onto the floor, lost and alone.

The doorbell woke her from a fitful sleep on the couch and she lay there, still dressed in her beautiful gown, hoping whoever it was would go away. The clock read eight thirty-three. Gil would be happily married now, dancing with his bride. She felt the envy and the sadness stab away at her. The doorbell rang again. "Go away," she muttered. Company, she could do without.

She shut her eyes just as the front door opened, and she barely had enough time to stand and face the intruder before she found herself standing face-to-face with a very angry and concerned looking Gil Grissom.

"Why didn't you come to my wedding?" Any louder and he would have been shouting at her. He had come to stand within three paces of her, and she tried to step away. He just followed her.

"Gil."

"Why didn't you come to my wedding?" he asked again.

"I felt sick. I didn't want to burden myself on anyone." She watched his expression gain more anger at her lie. He knew she was lying. He always knew.

"You were supposed to be at my wedding. I wanted you to be there."

"It was your day. You didn't need me there."

"Of course I needed you there." He looked on as she tried to manoeuvre the couch in between the two of them. He let her have some space for now.

"What about Eleanor? Does she know where you are? You should be with her."

"She knows where I am." His expression softened into one of genuine concern. "Please tell me what's wrong. Why didn't you come?" He knelt forward onto the couch and took her hand. Catherine hoped he could not feel her shiver at the connection. "Please tell me what you're feeling."

"I just didn't feel well enough to come, Gil. That's all."

"Catherine, stop lying to me." His voice had risen. He had never shouted at her like this before. "I can't understand why you're lying to me. Do you know how much that hurts?"

"Gil, please. Don't do this now." She pleaded with him with her eyes.

"Tough. We are going to do this now. I'm not leaving until I know. Until we sort out whatever it is that's bothering you." He reached up and wiped away a stray tear. "I don't like to see you so upset."

"Gil, trust me. We can't do this now."

"Tell me. There's nothing you can't tell me."

"Yes, there is."

"No, Catherine." He paused, hoping to persuade her with a look he knew always got to her. He used it on her when he wanted his own way. It had always worked before. "Please tell me. Why didn't you come to my wedding?"

She couldn't hold the tears back any longer, and began to sob once again.

"Because I couldn't bear to see you marry Eleanor. I couldn't bear it because I wanted it to be me standing there, Gil. I wanted it to be me." She choked out in a rush of words and emotions.

He couldn't answer, but he stood and walked around to her, wrapping his arms around her shaking body.

"God, Cath. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I love you Gil, I love you so much, but I was afraid you didn't love me."

"Catherine, I've loved you for so long. I never told you because I thought you'd leave me. I couldn't have you leave me." He could feel his own tears start to form. It had been such a weight from his heart to finally admit how he felt. "I couldn't face it if you didn't love me back."

She pulled back, a sudden look of horror on her face.

"Gil, what about Eleanor? We can't do this. You're married. It's wrong."

"Cath..."

"No." She took another step back. "Gil we can't..."

"Cath." He grabbed her arms, forcing her to look at him. He said the next words slowly and deliberately wanting the meaning of them to penetrate her highly emotional state. "We didn't get married."

"What?" She couldn't believe what she thought she heard him say. It must have been her mind making it up. "Are you serious?"

"Eleanor came and found me before the ceremony. She said she knew that while I loved her, I wasn't in love with her. She didn't have my heart. And she knew who did have it. Something to do with the fact that I seemed to mention you at least once every five sentences or something. She told me to come and find you. She gave me her blessing." He dropped his head. He knew how much of a sacrifice Eleanor had made. He would never forget it.

They stood there for a while, watching each other's eyes, neither knowing what to say. Fate had given them a second chance but were they both too scared to take it?

"So you didn't marry her."

"No."

"You could have."

"No. I couldn't."

"Why not?"

"Because I wanted it to be you too."

She closed the gap between them, resting her head against his chest. She sighed when she felt his arms around her again, feeling the warmth and security she never thought she'd feel again. Loving the feel of his arms around her, she relaxed into him, clinging on just in case it was not real. There were a thousand things she wanted to ask him, that she wanted to say, but right now, none of it needed to be discussed. She whispered her love to him and he returned it, keeping her held tightly within his arms. They would never forget the sacrifice that had been made for them, and in return, neither of them was ever going to let go.

The End.