I shouldn't have come in tonight, me and my stupid pride. Too busy thinking I should show my tough side to the world, that I can only be tough. Well I'm here for Lindsey too, if I pretend last night didn't really matter then it will not effect us. Then we can move on. But as I sit here in my car, working up the nerve to go into the crime lab,I'm afraid to face my collegues. Afraid to face Gil. To do all this when last nights events are written all over my face, over my body.

I need to go to work, I'm really late. Which will make my entrance even more dramatic, though hopefully the make up and the sunglasses will lessen the blow.

"Sara, have you got anything to eat around here?"

"Nicky, buy your own food. And we're about to start work, shouldn't you eat before you get here buddy?"

"I'm a busy man, Sara."

"Right."

"Okay guys? Are you ready, we've got a busy night. Nick, you and Sara have got the ... Hey where's Catherine?"

"Thought she was with you Grissom, she's hasn't called in."

"Is that me you're chatting about?" If I'm breezy then maybe this will go quicker.

"Jeez, Cath, did you have an accident?"

"No, Warwick, I'm fine."

"Seriously Cath?"

"What the hell happened?"

Sara and Nick fire questions at me in quick succession, apparently shocked by how I look. But it's Grissom that's scaring me. He hasn't said a word, but I can feel him staring at me. I can't meet his eyes, but I know he is willing me to. I gather all my strength and take off my glasses. I need to get this out of the way.

"We got broken into last night, it was actually lucky that I was home for a change. I heard a noise, you know what it's like when you're not used to sleeping at night, my body wasn't totally relaxed yet. Anyway, genius that I am, I went downstairs and met the burglar face to face, or face to mask. He hit me, I hit him back, he hit me again but this time with a bat, so I end up looking like this."

"What are you doing here Cath? You should be in the hospital, or at least at home with Lindsey." I love Nickys heart.

"No I shouldn't, I'm not making a huge deal out of this or I'll freak Lindsey out. I'm fine. I went to the hospital last night. It's just bruises, they'll go away soon. I just want to get on with work."

The room goes quiet. I can feel the pity for my appearance, the idiot made quite a mess. But they are really waiting for Grissom, silent Grissom. They're waiting to follow his lead.

"Okay, we've got a busy night people. Warwick, you've got a shooting at our favourite Chinese restaurant, waiter apparently killed himself over the chow mein. Go find out. Nick, you and Sara have got a car full of dogs and the dog walker, all found dead in the pet store car park. Cath. You're with me."

Yeah, I saw that one coming, was just no way of avoiding it. But I don't want to be alone with Grissom, I don't want to cry infront of him. So as the others file out and try to get on with their work, I prepare to face Grissom. He hasn't said a word to me yet. His office is too quiet.

"You're awfully quiet Gil."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"What for? It happened and was over before I knew it. I just wanted to get Linds home, make her feel safe at home again. I'm fine."

"You've keep saying that Cath. You don't look fine. You shouldn't be here, you need to go home."

"I need to get to work, what have you got for me?"

"Nothing. Cath, I'm taking you home, and there will be no arguments."

"Please Gil." The tears are threatening to fall now, Gil notices and moves closer. Touches my arm. These are not the circumstances I would wish for for Grissom to initiate an emotional moment, but his touch gladens my heart, inspite of myself.

"No arguments Cath, we're going home." And with that he takes my hand and leads out of the building, I could hold his hand forever. I wish there was a better reason for me to be holding his hand. But I'll take what I can get. He drives me home in silence, but I know he is watching me, silently checking that I'm okay. He is a very gentle man, and I do love him for it. I shouldn't say that, even if it's only in my imagination. Not healthy.

"Is the babysitter with Lindsey?"

"No, she was staying with Eddie tonight anyway, so I let her go. She said she would call my cell to make sure I was okay."

"Well at least your daughter thinks about taking care of you, even if you don't."

"Okay, I'm home. No more lectures."

"Sure." He comes round and opens my door, takes my hand and helps me to my house. I could really get used to this hand holding thing, I wonder if he would notice if I continued it after I'm feeling better. I could just pretend it's something I do with all my male friends, worth a try...

As I open up, and walk into my house, the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach comes back. I hate that I feel like this, especially with Gil here. He knows, he knows what I think, feel. He tightend his grip on my hand when we walked through the door and now he has moved infront of me and his free hand his delicately tracing the swollen skin on my jaw.

"It's okay Cath, I'm here. It's just us." He leans in to say this, his voice no more than a whisper. Under normal circumstances this would be very seductive.

"Thanks. I hate this feeling, this is MY home. I know I have new locks, but it does feel a little weird. I am a little spooked, and I'm really tired."

"Then let's go to bed."

Now how long have I waited to hear that particular line. He's going a little red, he realises what he said. Probably realises what my dirty mind is thinking.

"I... I mean, you need to sleep. I want to look after you..."

" I don't NEED anyone to look after me."

"Hey, come on Cath. I know you don't need me, but I want to. Indulge me please, I'll only worry if you don't."

He is such a gentle, gentle man.

"Okay, you win."

So we go upstairs, passing the flash points from last night. But I'm okay, Gil is with me. He takes me to my room, prepares to leave to let me get changed, but I'm suddenly I'm too exhausted. I have to lie down.

"Gil, I'm just going to rest like this. You are staying aren't you.?"

"Where else would I go? "

So I crawl into bed, I remember doing this years ago when Lindsey was a baby. When I was so exhausted my clothes stayed on for longer than they should. My bed was not as rejuvinating then as now. Then I didn't have Gil Grissom positioned behind me, his body pressed flat against mine. His hand on my stomach, protecting me, or perhaps reassuring himself that I am still here. I am glad I lived to see this night, to feel it.

I think we've crossed a line tonight, but we'll deal with that in the morning. For now it is enough that I am drifting into sleep with the comfort of his hands on my body.