I love to watch her when she thinks she does not have my attention, when she is at her most beautiful. Well, when she looks as stunning as she does now. She is in the lab with Greg, making fun of him. Teasing him. I know this because I have watched her do it many times, we have no secrets. There is no threat to me here, she shares part of herself with others, but there is a part of her she shares with only me. She is smiling for him, laughing along with their banter. But the smile is not mine, not the one that I would do anything to watch for the rest of my life.

"Hey Grissom. What are you doing lurking out here? "

"Watching you my dear, you know I am a creature of habit. I need to ask you something unwork related."

"Okay, I have a few minutes before Nicky and I need to head out again."

"Right. Actually, can I take you for breakfast when the shift ends. We'll talk then."

"Honey, you always take me to breakfast. But cool, I'll see you later."

"Count on it."

I spend the rest of the shift working on my paperwork, trying to put my working life in order, as I will soon do with my personal life. I hope I will. I hope I have the right words, the ones she deserves.

We find our usual table in the diner, they know us so well here that there is no need to take orders. Our food will arrive soon, the thick coffee which we depend on for a few more hours of consciousness is already here. Already giving me a welcome caffeine rush. The boost of confidence I will use to get me through the next hour.

"Gil, what is with you? You look like hell, and not in the normal way."

"Well with kind words like that Catherine..."

"Honey, that didn't come out altogether the way I meant it to. I just mean you don't look so good. What's wrong?"

As soon as she finishes her words she moves to my side of the booth, placing herself as close to me as she can. As close is as decent at this hour. She holds my hand in hers, threading her fingers through mine in a movement I have come to crave. She is claiming me, reminding me that she is mine, and I am hers. I brush my lips against her knuckles, hoping for the reaction I am addicted to.

There. Her smile. The one that is mine. The one only I have the power to produce. We've been together six months and I am still shocked by the fact. Shocked by the fact of 'us', by the feel of her fingers entwined with mine, by the sweetness of her kiss, and by the power I yield over her. Maybe that doesn't convey what I mean it to. I always assumed that if by some miracle Cath and I ever got together then she would be the one in control. That her feelings could never match mine for their intensity. It's been the best surprise of my life to find that they do. That we are in this together.

"I love it when you do that Gil?"

"This?" I bring her hand to my lips again, place a kiss on her palm, then move her hand to my cheek. I am a selfish man, I need to be touched by her and my addiction must be fed. I can't help but take pride in the way her breath catches in her throat at my attention. I could lose myself here for hours, but I have to talk to her before the food comes. Before I lose my nerve.

"Cath". I whisper her name in her ear, delighted again that she has joined me on my side of the table. Delighted that I can breathe in her scent while trying to claim her.

"Mmm. You shouldn't do that, makes me want to drag you home with me."

"You can do that, I just need to eat first... Also I want to talk you about something. About us."

"That sounds ominous. What about us? We're okay aren't we?"

"I am, you are better than okay my dear. I want to go home with you. I want to go home."

"Yeah, course honey. Are you tired? Lets go."

"Hmm. I am tired, am tired of ending up across town from you. Tired of spending too much time apart. I know your feelings on marriage, I know you don't want to go down that road again. But I just want for us to be together. Look at us."

I pull us forward to look into the mirrors that surround us, that pass for decor in here. I want her to see what I see.

"What am I looking at Gil?"

I brush my fingers across her hand, kiss her knuckles. There it is, that wonderful smile that I need her to see.

"There. Look at you, look at how you shine. I hate to crow, but I did that. I made you feel something, which manifests itself in those gorgeous lips of yours and makes you glow. Do you see it?"

"Yes" Her answer is barely a whisper and I'm a little afraid of what she is going to do, to say. "Do I make you that happy Gil?"

I turn to her, crush her to my body, to convince her of my heart and of its fullness.

"You know you do. We make each other happy. I just wanted you to see what I see when I kiss you, when I hold your hand. You have given me so many gifts Catherine, but I am greedy for more. Always greedy for more. And that smile of yours, I want to see it all the time. I want to go home with you. I don't want to go home to my place anymore, there is nothing for me the there. You are not there, Linds is not there. My family is not there. I don't need a ceremony, or a ring, I just need your presence, and that smile. It will sustain me for the rest of my life. So can I come home with you, can we go home together honey?"

She's smiling that smile again. It's the only answer I will ever need.

THE END