I'm conscious that I am not skilled at expressing my feelings. Let me qualify that statement for you, I know you know I love you. But like this, on paper, I'm less skilled than you are honey. The sweet notes you write are so precious to me, I'm afraid what I write here will appear insignificant in comparison. So later I'll show you how much I love you, I'll whisper the words when we are in bed. Remember those moments. Remember all your life how we are together, how we love each other and touch each other. So I'll make that my first reason, the first reason I love you. When we make love, when you make love to me and I make love to you, I'm alive. Nothing else exists in these moments, these hours, except the two of us, and the power of these emotions overwhelm me - always will. I love you.

So I'm just going to launch into the rest of the reasons. If they come out as a ramble, then it's because I lose all reason when I think of you. I'll tell you once more, remind you the reason for my writing this. I love you.

I love that you buy me flower every Friday, no one has ever made me feel this cherished. I love your eyes - I could gaze into them for hours, you should let me do that sometime. I love your voice, I can listen to you reading our grocery shopping list and find it sexy. Beyond sexy. I love that you listen to Lindsey talk about anything and everything. I love the way we fit together. When we lie next to each other in bed and our bodies are pressed together, well it's feels like we were born to lie like that. I love you for all the photographs you take. Your new found compulsion to chronical all the events of our families life is beautiful. I love your commitment - to me, to us, to Lindsey, and to your job. I love that you sing. You do it when you're happy, most of the time you're not aware of it. But you do. You're happy because of us. I love your humour, that you show this side of yourself to Linds and I, that it's ours. I love that you ignore all the gossip about you and me. I know that you value your privacy and anonymity so highly, but I know you value us more. I love the look on your face when you wake up in the morning and you realise it wasn't a dream. I love the way you kiss. I love that I am the last woman alive who will know that kissing is what you do best (or one of the things you do best...). I love the way you smell when you come out of the shower. I love the way you smell when you come home after being at work all night. I love the way you taste. I love the power you have over me. I love the power I have over you. I love you for your kindness. I love the way you look with no clothes on. I love the way you look fully clothed. I love your mind, I want to know everything you think and imagine and dream. I love that we spend our nights at work together and yet you ask me about my shift, you want to know and understand everything. I love you for loving Lindsey with all your heart. I love how we make each other laugh. I love that you call Linds and me your 'girls', it does something to my insides. I love to look at you in the morning, sitting at the breakfast table (our breakfast table), sleepy and content. I love that you will read what I have written here and not be embarrassed, that you will indulge me in these wild ramblings. I love that I call you 'my husband' whenever I can, just because I like the way it sounds. I love that you say 'my wife' just as often for the same reason. I love you for our honeymoon. I love you for saying yes. I love you for saying I do. I love you for our days off, for our family days together when I regret all over again that we took so long to become a family. I love you for the smile on your face when I hold your hand. I love that I get to do your laundry, well I love to see our clothes together in the washer, if I'm not so keen on the actual chore... I love that all I want to do is take care of you. I love that you take care of me. I love that you smile all the time. I love that my body reacts to you the same way my heart does. I love that you breathe. I love that you love me. I just love you. Always.

Cath x

Cath, I'm writing you a list. I hope that's a good thing to do. I hope it makes you happy to read these words, as it makes me happy to write them. These are the reasons I love you, or the ones I can name today. There are always more.

1. You're magnificent.
2. We argue - and it's okay. It's not the end.
3. The way you feel in my arms.
4. Your skin.
5. Your eyes.
6. Your hair.
7. Your elbows.
8. Your ankles.
9. Your eyelashes.
10. Your ears.
11. Your lips.
12. Your nose.
13. Your legs.
14. Your toes.
15. Your neck.
16. Your breasts.
17. Your shoulders.
18. Your fingers.
19. The warm spot in our bed when you get up.
20. Your laugh.
21. Your sass.
22. Your kindness.
23. You said I do.
24. Our honeymoon.
25. The words you whispered to me as we were married.
26. You sleep on my pillow to be closer to me.
27. You've raised a beautiful daughter.
28. You understand me better than anyone ever has, or will.
29. The way you look in that black dress.
30. The way you will read these words and not be embarrassed, that you will indulge me as always.
31. Your skin against mine as we lie in bed.
32. Your kisses.
33. Your scent.
34. Your taste.
35. Your heart.
36. Your determination.
37. The way you hypnotise me when you walk in a room.
38. The life you've given me. I'm reborn with you and Lindsey.
39. The sight of you asleep. You are unarmed and peaceful. Gorgeous.
40. The feel of your hands on my skin when you join me in the shower.
41. How your hands find mine whenever we are together.
42. The secrets you've shared.
43. Your past.
44. Your style.
45. The job you do. That you care. That you are the best.
46. You love me.
47. The power and happiness we share when we make love.
48. That if I were to write this to you everyday, there would be 48 new reasons everday.

I love you.

Gil.

The End.