It was always tomorrow I told myself a million times, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, but now for the millionth time its tomorrow again.

It was quick we think, at least that's what the evidence tells us. Single gun shot wound to the head, no pain, she never knew it was coming and neither did I.

Lindsey won't look at me and I can't look at anyone else, because they'll want answers that I can't give. Answers that will never make sense no matter how many times I repeat them in my own head.

Gun shot.

Close range.

Blood spatter.

Trajectory.

Weapon.

Fingerprints.

Words that swirl in my mind, words I've heard my own voice explain a million times but they don't make sense anymore, nothing does.

I try to picture what she'd say, what she would do... never look back, never regret... that's what she told me once, it was how she lived her life, but not how I've lived mine... I can't help looking back, trying to figure out if I'd done something, anything differently would she still be here now?

I wonder if I'd woke up yesterday and instead of saying tomorrow, I'd said today... would she be here now, would we be at work, at home, would Lindsey be smiling instead of crying, would I be sitting here now if I'd only stopped saying tomorrow?

But I never did, I was scared, I took the easy way out, I woke up and said tomorrow again.

It was always tomorrow, I told myself a million times, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, but now for the millionth time it's tomorrow again... and tomorrow is a day too late.

Fini