Grissom closed his eyes, wishing that the outside world would just disappear. It was already an hour after the end of shift and he was still at work. He was sitting in his office, filling out the last of his paperwork. I wish I hadn't lagged on these papers. Paperwork was not the only thing bugging Grissom—a certain strawberry-blonde was occupying his thoughts—and not in a good way.

How am I going to make her understand? Grissom got up from his seat and gathered all his things. As he walked out of his office and towards the outside of the building, he kept going over and over the events of two nights ago.

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~2 nights ago~

It was a day off for both of them. It was a rare instance for Grissom and Catherine to have the same night off. It had been a hectic last month with the cases and they were barely spending anytime together. Tonight was the first time in a long while they got to spend time together without deadlines or cases needing to be solved—it was just the two of them.

They usually loved snuggling on each other's couches and watching Newlyweds reruns (Cath's idea, not Gil's) or the Discovery Channel for documentaries on bugs (Gil's idea, not Cath's). Whatever was on the television, as long as they were together, they were both happy. Or at least that's what Grissom thought.

Tonight was different. There they were—on Grissom's couch—but no cuddling was happening. She sat on the couch with her arms crossed, putting some distance between her and Gil. Now, that's odd. She usually likes to cuddle with me. Her face registered no emotions on it, but her eyes—it told a different story. Her eyes reflected that she was hiding something from him.

"Cath, is something wrong?" Grissom's voice was filled with concern. If there is something wrong, I want to know. I need to know.

"Nothing." Catherine gazed at the television with a monotone voice, but Grissom could tell she was not paying any attention to what was on the tv either.

Maybe she is not in the mood. Maybe she got in a fight with Lindsey or she is having mood swings…maybe it's the time of the month. Whatever it is, she will say something sooner or later. I know how she is. Let me wait for her to say something to me. I know her better than she thinks, Grissom mused and went back to watching tv.

As the evening went on, Catherine's mood only got worse. While Catherine watched television, Grissom went to make dinner for the both of them. When he called her to the dining room for dinner, Catherine came in sobbing. Grissom wasn't sure what brought on the tears, but he decided to try and see what was wrong with her. He sat her on one of the dining room chairs and stroked her back to help her calm down.

"Cath, what is bothering you? What is making you cry?" He wanted to know what was bothering her so he could help her.

"Nu…no..th..th..ing….is…iiis…www..rrr…ong." Catherine was crying so hard, all she could get out was unintelligible babble.

Grissom was now getting frustrated. There has to be something more to this—she never cries like this unless something major has happened. He took both of her hands away from her face and put her chin up to face him—he was not going to stop until he found out.

"Cath, no. I won't accept that for an answer. You need to tell me what's going on and I won't let you go until you do."

Catherine looked at him with her red-rimmed eyes. "You really want to know what is wrong with me?" she asked quietly. Grissom nodded. Of course, I want to know. Anything that hurts you hurts me 100 times more.

Catherine shifted uneasily in the chair. She took a deep breath. "Where are we going with…" she motioned with her hands, "us?" Grissom took a deep breath and sat in the chair next to her, pondering what she just said.

Grissom looked up at her. "What do you mean `us'?" Grissom reached across the table for her hands, but Catherine just pushed them away. "Aren't you happy with me?"

For the first time, Catherine held his gaze. "I am happy with you, but lately, I am feeling like all I am is just fun for you and that this might not be going anywhere." They both sat there for a while in silence, thinking about the words that were just said. Grissom couldn't bring himself to say what he wanted to say to her. Don't do this to me ,Catherine, you don't know…I CARE so much about you. I just don't know how to say it. Grissom thought unhappily.

After 10 minutes of staring at him, Catherine stood up from her chair, more tears still threatening to come out, and faced bleak- looking Grissom. "Gil, we have been together for a year now…and I know we have gotten comfortable with our setting--going out, working together, making love…and I have enjoyed every minute of it. But… I want to know though if you see a future with the two of us." Catherine looked straight at Grissom, but he wasn't meeting her eyes. Catherine continued in a quieter voice. "You never once told me that you loved me…and I am not sure that you do." With that, Catherine picked up her things and walked out of the house.

Grissom was still sitting at the table, staring at the place where Catherine was at just a few moments before. I do, Cath, I do… but I don't know how to say it. I..I…Grissom didn't know what to say. You should have said something, Gil…don't let her think you don't love her.

"I…"Grissom started to speak, but words failed him. How could he make Catherine know how much she meant to him? She was his world, his everything and now he was about to lose her because he couldn't show her, tell her that he loved her. It was not that simple.

--TBC--