Catherine drove aimlessly through the streets of Las Vegas after dropping Lindsey off at school. She thought the hot shower she had taken earlier that morning would have helped to ease some of her tension but she was mistaken. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep if she went home because when she had closed her eyes for a quick power nap directly after work all she was able to see was John Mathers draw his last breath. Her body shuddered as the execution played through her mind for the hundredth time. The thought of being alone was completely unappealing to her at that moment. Where could she go? The answer to the question of where she wanted to go was simple but she was not sure it was the best idea. Still, it was difficult for her to resist the pull that sent her in that direction in spite of herself.

Catherine's car stopped in front of Gil's townhouse. She hesitated before walking to his door. Now was not the time for her to pretend she was unaffected by what she had witnessed. However, as she knocked on Gil's door, she acknowledged that her vulnerabilities would be exposed.

A minute after Catherine had knocked, Gil opened the door. She took a deep breath and saw the look of surprise clearly written on his face.

"Catherine, what..." His voice trailed off as he watched her blink baack tears. He moved aside to grant her access. Catherine walked inside and sat down on the couch, her hands folded in her lap and her eyes focused down on the floor. Gil watched her for a few moments, searching for the right words. "I apologize, I should have checked on you last night."

"But you didn't," she replied in a low and wounded voice. "And I didn't really expect you to. Besides, you're so used to solving the crimes and catching the bad guys. I'm sure it's pretty hard on you, not being able to solve these murders."

Gil sighed and sat down next to her. "There's nothing we can do. He will kill again and all we can do is hope he leaves us something."

Catherine nodded. "It's frustrating, I know. We solve cases so often but it's not good enough because we always focus on the ones that got away. Human nature I suppose. Gil, I...I came here because I was hoping that you''d listen. I know there's not much you could say and I don't expect you to say anything really."

"Of course," Gil answered. He watched the tears she was trying so valiantly to hold back begin to slowly fall down her cheeks as she began to speak.

"You asked me in your office how I felt about Mathers being executed," Catherine began. "And then you said I was non-responsive with my answer. Well, I sat there and watched him die. And I will never forget that. I see death all the time, but this was different. He was injected and he was strapped down and I looked in his eyes. It was...I don't know how to even describe it. Chharlene's mother held onto my hand and I wondered what was going through her mind as Mathers' heart stopped beating. Did she finally have some sense of peace knowing that the man who killed her daughter was dead? I know her pain is one that never goes way, but did watching the execution ease her pain at all? I walked out of the prison and there were so many protesters yelling and holding their signs. I felt..." Catherine's voice broke. "I felt so alone at that moment. I'm not saying that I don't believe in the death penalty. It's just that seeing the execution happen right in front of me affected me in a way I didn't expect. I didn't want to be alone after I left the prison. But I was alone. And I replayed it in my mind over and over again. I can't close my eyes without seeing Mathers lying there. I wanted to go to you right after I left the prison," she admitted. "I needed to see you."

Gil was a bit taken aback by her disclosure but hid his surprise. "Cath, you could have come to me."

"Oh really?" Catherine asked. "Gil, you've completely distanced yourself from me lately. You've never been a people person, I know that better than anyone because we've been friends and co-workers for so many years. But now you're even more closed off. Maybe just from me, maybe with everyone. I'm not quite sure. Things have changed and that's what kept me from coming to you last night. After Holly died, you were there at the morgue for me. You didn't have to be there but you said you wanted to be there in case I needed you. And I did. And just by being there, you helped me. Knowing that you cared enough to be there helped me, Gil. I also remember when Eddie came to the lab and we argued. He pushed me up against the wall and there you were throwing him off of me. To be honest, I don't think I've ever seen you show so much emotion before as you did then. I don't think I ever really thanked you for what you did. It was easier to sweep it under the rug. That was then and this is now and things have been very different. Did I do something, Gil? I wish you'd tell me if I did."

Gil absorbed the emotions she had expressed to him. Intense pangs of guilt quickly began to plague him. "Cath, you didn't do anything. You want answers but I don't know what to tell you except that it has nothing to do with you. Anything that's changed is because of me."

"I've heard the old 'it's not you, it's me' speech before, Gil. Just never thought I'd be hearing it from you," Catherine lamented. "Look, I know it's hard for you to talk about these things. But we see people at their worst every day. We see firsthand how short life is. We were best friends. I'd like to believe we still are but you're making that so difficult." She looked up at him with sadness in her eyes. "Knowing you, it's possible that you really don't know how we got to this point." She swallowed the lump in her throat.

"I wish I could give you an answer," Gil said, meaning it with all his heart. "I never meant to hurt you, Catherine." He owed her so much more, but he'd try to express his feelings to her as best he could. "I count on you and I value you as a friend and co-worker. You've taught me many lessons in human emotion over the years. I wish for your sake that they would have paid off. I'm sorry that I've made you feel our friendship has become less important to me. I'm here right now for you and that probably doesn't count for too much..."

"It does. Thank you, Gil," Catherine replied. She knew it wasn't easy for him to say what he did.

"How about breakfast? I could make you an omelet." Gil hoped she'd take him up on her offer. She looked pale and he was sure she hadn't had anything to eat in quite a while.

"Sure," Catherine smiled. She reclined back on his couch while he went into the kitchen and began to cook. She was hopeful about their friendship. It was one of the most important things in the world to her and she wouldn't let go of it without a fight. Just being in Gil's presence had offered her the comfort she needed to move on after witnessing Mathers' execution.

Gil turned back towards Catherine and saw that she was asleep. He quietly moved closer, placing a blanket over her. Before he could stop himself, he gently raised his hand and caressed her cheek. He stepped back and watched her sleep, watching the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed, watching the peaceful calmness on her face. He was angry at himself for hurting her, yet knew the answers he gave her were the only things he could offer her at that point. One day he hoped he'd be able to tell her the truth. Then she'd know he stepped back from her because he was scared of his feelings for her, scared of ruining their friendship. Gil Grissom scared, what a concept. And how would Catherine feel if he confessed those feelings for her? He wasn't sure but it was a risk he wasn't willing to take quite yet. For her sake, he'd try to mend their friendship and get it back to what it used to be. Being so close to her and only being her friend would present a challenge, but it was one he was willing to take on. Anything for her.

He continued to watch her sleep, unable to tear his eyes away.