I have a tape recorder in my mind that keeps replaying. When I hear a certain song, smell a familiar perfume, meet someone who reminds me of you, the play button is triggered and I hear every noise, remember every movement and recall every word spoken. Even after all this time the memory plays like a well rehearsed scene from a movie, with every word echoing perfectly through my mind.

I'm paralysed as the memory washes over me, unable to move or connect with the present until the scene has played out in my mind.

. I walk into the house, the place we call home and a sanctuary we built together. Work has been hard tonight and I want nothing more than to get lost in the comforting normality of home, my husband and daughter.

As the door opens I hear Lindsay crying; she is teething and it's making her cranky. I walk through the lounge which is littered with toys, into the kitchen, throwing my keys onto the sideboard. Dishes clutter the worktop and I sigh as I start to fill the sink with water. Housework really isn't Eddie's strongpoint, but the last thing I want is to start cleaning up after him tonight.

I hear him banging about in the bedroom above and smile to myself. He has a new band to promote and is convinced that they are going to be 'the next big thing'. He gets energized at the start of a new project and it's nice to see, even though I know it'll end the same way it always does - with Eddie hitting the bottle, cursing the fools who couldn't see potential and me a few hundred dollars poorer.

He has been so passionate about this new group and the passion has been spilling over into our sex life. When we first met, sex was the main thing that kept us together. We couldn't get enough of each other and took every opportunity to show the other how much we turned each other on. But since Lindsay came along our sex life hasn't been what it was. Working the graveyard shift and a new baby are not a good combination, and sex was always the last thing on my mind when I crawled into bed. Eddie's enthusiasm for the new band has been infectious though and now we're enjoying each others bodies as much as we ever did.

Upstairs Lindsay starts to cry again, jolting me from my thoughts. I dry my hands and head up the stairs to her bedroom, passing by the bedroom I share with Eddie. Lindsay is stood in her cot, tears streaming down her red cheeks; she has another tooth breaking through. I lift her out of the cot and her tears turn into a contented grumble. I hear Eddie laughing next door and decide to go say hello.

As I walk across the landing I wipe the tears from Lindsay's cheeks and kiss the top of her head. I see so little of her with work; I feel like I'm missing out on so much. I would love to be able to take time off work and spend some precious months with her, but we need a steady wage coming into the house and the money Eddie makes is anything but steady.

As I open the door to our bedroom the smell of cheap perfume hits my nostrils and my blood runs cold. I push the door fully open, knowing what I am going to see before I even see it. There is a woman in our bed, knelt on all fours; Eddie is knelt behind, thrusting into her. I feel my stomach lurch and my mind screams out, horrified by what I am watching, but unable to move.

A hundred and one thoughts race through my mind, none of them making sense. Then a single thought rises loud above the others. 'She's in the band. She's the singer in the band'. I feel my face go clammy and tears begin to sting my eyes as I stand watching the pair fuck.

Lindsay begins to grumble again and the noise nudges my mind back into action. The noise also disturbs the pair on the bed and they both snap round to see me standing in the doorway. I stare at Eddie, who pushes away from the woman and walks towards me, naked. I am hit by a wave of repulsion and need to get out of the room, away from him. I hear him call my name as I walk back across the landing but I can not turn to face him. If I look at him then all this will be real and I won't be able to bear that.

I hurry into Lindsay's room and lock the door before Eddie reaches us. My stomach becomes heavy as shock turns to betrayal. Tears roll down my cheeks and I begin to sob as the reality of what I've just witnessed hits me.

Eddie bangs on the door, but it's all too late. We've lost what we had and we can never get it back.

. As the last image flickers to an end and the reality of the here and now crashes around me, I am left with the same sense of emptiness in the pit of my stomach. I can feel my heart crumbling as it did the night you betrayed me and the sadness of what we lost washes over me yet again.

I lost a part of my spark for life that night and you were the thief.