-----------------
How can I just let you walk away, just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you, ooh
You're the only one who really knew me at all
-----------------

How can you know someone for years, but never see how much they really mean to you? I've know Catherine for twenty years, but I've never been able to see what was right in front of me the entire time. Now it may be too late.

-----------------
How can you just walk away from me,
when all I can do is watch you leave
Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain and even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all
-----------------

Earlier today I was thinking: There must be something more to my life than just work. But it's the only thing I haven't managed to screw up in some way. I suck when it comes to emotions and relationships. It's easy to see that. But she's stuck by me the entire time. Through all the shit I've put her through. Until I took it too far.

-----------------

She came into my office, obviously upset. Being the idiot I am I just looked at her and said "what?". Dumbass. Don't ask if she's okay. Don't take the time to see if there's anything you can do. Just go into supervisor mode. Forget about friend mode.

"What? Did you just say What? I'll tell you what. I just spent the past two hours trying to convince a social worker that Lindsey wasn't being neglected. And to top it off they asked if there was anyone who could vouch for me. Is it just me or was I stupid to think that you could? So I phoned your cell and what do I get? Not your answering machine. Just continuous ringing. Why the hell didn't you answer?"

Why didn't I? Oh that's right. I was too busy trying to avoid the sheriff that I didn't bother to check my caller ID.

"I'm sorry Cath. I must not have heard it."

"That's it? That's your excuse! Thanks to you Lindsey might end up being put in foster care! And all because you couldn't answer the damn phone!" She yelled at me then stormed off, after saying softly, "I thought we were friends Gil. I thought you'd be there for me when I need it. Like I've been there for you. I guess I was wrong."

I should've been there. I should've done more to help. Instead of just sitting there watching her leave.

-----------------
So take a look at me now, oh there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
just the memory of your face
Ooh take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against the odds and that's what I've got to face
-----------------

I cant just let her go. We have too much to lose after my stupid mistake. Maybe it isn't too late to call that social worker. God I hope not. I phone the number on the card that slipped out of her pocket when she walked off. A tired sounding woman answered, asking whether or not I was reporting abuse.

"No, I need to speak to the person handling the Willows case." I say into the phone.

"That's me. How can I help you?"

"I can vouch for Catherine Willows. She does not neglect Lindsey. Is there any way I could see you in person."

Sighing they replied, "Okay. Come down to my office and we'll talk."

Hanging up the phone I rush out of there, desperate to get to the office before anyone changed their mind. I arrive at a large building and go to the woman's office.

" So, are you the man who phoned about Catherine Willows?"

" Yes, I'm Gil Grissom. Catherine does not neglect Lindsey. Although she does work a lot, she makes sure to spend as much time as possible with her daughter. She in no way disregards Lindsey. Catherine has been cutting down on overtime, and is back on Graveyard shift, so she spends more time with her daughter."

Interrupting the worker said, " Thank you Mr. Grissom. What you have said will be taken into account. However, you must understand that we still may need to place Lindsey in foster care. But from what you have said, I think that the chances of that are considerably lower."

"Thank you."

With that I'm leaving. I have to tell Cath and beg for forgiveness. It's the only hope I've got.

-----------------
I wish I could just make you turn around,
turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you,
so many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all
-----------------

I'm sitting outside her house, wondering what I should say. I cant mess this up any more. She's the only one that ever really got to know me. The only one I have left. I cant let her leave. I've got to forget about pride and say what I really feel. Here I go.

-----------------
So take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face
Now take a look at me now, cause there's just an empty space
-----------------

I knock on the door and Catherine abruptly opens it.

"What do you want?" She asks, agitated.

"Cath I need to talk to you. Can I come in?"

She sighs and steps aside and lets me in.

"Where's Lindsey?" I ask.

"At school. What you want Gil?"

"Catherine I need to apologize for earlier. You deserve a real explanation. Today I was ignoring my phone because the sheriff was phoning me every half hour and I was getting tired of it. I didn't bother to look at the caller ID. I'm really sorry I didn't."

"Well it's a bit late Gil. The social worker will probably take Lindsey away. She believes I do nothing but work."

"I went to see her. I explained that you're a fantastic mother, and that you would do anything for Lindsey. I also told her your back on grave shift, and are cutting down on the overtime. She said that you have a better chance."

She looks at me for a minute before saying, "You really did that?"

"Yeah. Cath I'm really sorry that this happened. I want you to know that I'll always be here for you."

"I know." With that she walks over to me and hugs me. I take her in my arms an can't stop myself from inhaling her scent. She seems to take notice and tightens her grasp. God, don't let this moment ever end.

"Gil?" she asks.

"Mmm?" I don't think I can make a coherent sentence right now.

"Did you ever wonder if there was anything more between us?"

I blink, then answer, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, did you ever want something more than just friendship?"

I think a moment, then finally say, "Yes. Catherine you're the only one who really knows me. You're the only one who's put up with everything I do. I just…"

"Shhh." She puts her finger to my lips. "I know Gil. And you're the only one who has seen me as anything other than a ex stripper."

"Catherine you are a thousand times better than that. And you deserve as much." Shakily I continue, "I'm just not sure I can offer everything you deserve."

She looks up and smiles at me than says, "Gil you've always had everything to offer. You have been there for me when I need it most. You love Lindsey like she is your own, and she loves you just as much. That's a hell of a lot to offer."

Pausing I reply, "You did forget one thing though."

"And what's that?"

"I love you."

With that I lean down, slowly so she has time to back off. But she doesn't, and I capture her lips with mine. Its soft at first, but our need for each other increases the passion of the kiss. Eventually break away, both gasping for breath. I look into her eyes, and see only love. Love for me. Never would I have imagined I would ever see that. Then she said,

"I love you too Gil."

-----------------
But to wait for you, is all I can do and that's what I've got to face
Take a good look at me now, cause I'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
It's the chance I've gotta take

Take a look at me now