I want you. I can't have you. I belong to no one, but you belongto her. As she, belongs to you. I tried, I tried especially hard. You wouldn't have it, you pushed me away; I can't ever have you. What I thought was a foolish crush, was a longing for the one I love. At least the one I thought I loved. For a while, I denied it. Thinking, I could still have a chance with you; but every time, I'd embarrass myself and the reality would sink in more and more. I despised her, for being everything I couldn't and having all that I wanted. Especially you. My anger, and resentment didn't go unobserved and we fought to not bring it to work. How could I not, when what I hated her for was at work? You.

The way she had everyone wrapped around her finger, especially you. She is so pretty, she is so smart, she is so strong; it was like she was the resident Queen. Then slowly, I began to understand her. She began to understand me, and the anger began to disappear. We didn't become best of friends, but we have a mutual respect for one another. There is a spot in my heart that will always belong to you, but I know it is right how it is. Falling for you wasn't a mistake per say, and I don't regret it. I learned a lot, about myself and about love. What you and her have is something we would never have had. You virtually live for one another, you are connected in ways that are unbreakable. That is what hurt so much at first, knowing you would push past me, to greet her. The way you turned me down without a blink of the eye, leaving me to go to her. The hole in my heart seemed to get bigger and bigger, and it hurt more and more.

Then there was one day, she entered the break room and had a radiant smile on her face. You came in with a depressing frown, but when you saw her, you smiled too. Whatever was bothering you, immediately disappeared as soon as you saw her face. Your eyes began to sparkle and it was as if a clam came over you. It hit me. That split second moment, that nobody else saw. Your smile wasn't fake, it was genuinely from the heart, she makes you happy. I couldn't help a solitary tear sliding down my cheek, but through the sadness, I understood. The resentment faded and I felt embarrassed for getting myself into such a mess. The pain was still there, for a little while anyway. I felt a little bit like I lost you, but realized, I never had you. She has you, she's always had you and always will. I don't have the hurt anymore. Your love for one another, is something I can only hope one day I'll have. You fit, and I finally believe in fate.

Gil Grissom and Catherine Willows, true love.