It was such a beautiful ceremony. The weather was just fine, perfect for a wedding. Her wedding. She deserves nothing but the finest, the best. She deserves this.

The door opened, and there she stood in her beautiful white wedding dress. She looked stunning. She is the epitome of a beautiful bride. Sam Braun was beside her. She deserves this.

As she walked down the isle, she never took her eyes of the groom. But when she saw me, along with the rest of the graveshift crew, she smiled and winked. She looked happy. This is her day. This is her moment. She deserves this.

Sam kissed her on the cheek and whispered something in her ear. She gave him a teary smile. For the past couple of months, they've been in touch more than usual; especially after the whole incident involving Lindsey trying to hitch a ride. Sam turned out to be a wonderful doting grandfather. That is good enough for Catherine. Their relationship is getting better and stronger each day. She deserves this.

"Do you, Catherine Willows, take this man, Alex Wild, to be your lawfully wedded husband…"

Alex Wild, district attorney. They met during the trial of one of our cases. Great attorney, wonderful guy. They had been seeing each other for four months when he popped the question. The way Catherine gushes over their relationship to Sara, I can't say I'm surprised he got down on one knee. She told me herself that she never felt so happy before. It's so obvious to me that she's in love. She deserves this.

She's my best friend. My greatest trust. I want her to be happy. Seeing her happy, makes me happy.

So, tell me.

Why am I here, sitting on my couch watching her wedding video for the 100th time, feeling sad and depressed?

Why do I feel more empty than I usually feel?

I already know the answer to all those questions. But I refuse to accept it because it will make me feel sorry for myself, makes me feel less of a man for not admitting what I felt a long long time ago.

I, Gil Grissom, am in love with her.