He couldn't get the blood off of his hands. Realistically, he knew that enough scrubbing would eventually cleanse his skin, but not his soul. Never his soul. After Ben Jennings had been pronounced, he turned and fled to the locker room, flinging himself at the first sink and frantically grabbing a bar of soap. The water scalded his hands, and he was rubbing so hard that he was in danger of actually tearing his own flesh, but he couldn't feel it. His guilt and self-loathing numbed every other feeling. Grissom was so caught up in the task he was concentrating on, that he didn't notice Catherine entering the room. She saw him out of the corner of her eye, not completely taking in what was going on, as she opened her locker to prepare to leave.

"Hey Gil. Say, do you know what all that commotion was about? I saw a bunch of uniforms running around, but I couldn't tell what they were yelling about..."

When she didn't get an answer, she turned to fully take in the sight of him. He was hunched over the sink, washing his hands fervently and seemingly unaware of her presence. Baffled, she approached him and could hear him muttering to himself, although it was nothing that she could distinguish.

"Gil?"

He still did not react, and she placed a hand on his arm, attempting to still his actions. When he didn't stop, she reached down to remove the bar of soap from his hands. Stunned at the temperature of the water she turned it off, and turned him to face her, grasping his dripping hands.

"Gil, what is going on? What's wrong?"

"I..."

He couldn't formulate an answer, he just stood in front of her staring down at their hands. His were turning red from the abuse they had just suffered, her slender fingers trying in vain to gently smooth away the pain. He opened and shut his mouth a few more times, trying to find the words to explain his situation. All he could do was look at her hands grasping his. She pulled one hand away then raised it to his chin, lifting his eyes to meet hers. When he looked directly into her eyes, the concern he saw overwhelmed him and the tears came. Catherine was stunned; she had never seen him so upset and she still had no idea why. Terrified, she moved her hand from his chin to his cheek, brushing away some tears before reaching behind his head and pulling it down to her shoulder. Her arms encircled his shoulders and held him against her. He stiffened for a moment, uncomfortable with the contact, then relaxed and moved his hands around her waist, trying to absorb the comfort she was offering.

They stayed together for several minutes, just holding each other. At one point Nick and Warrick walked in talking enthusiastically, but upon seeing their friends, silenced and left immediately without questions. Out in the hall they look at each other in confusion, but still did not want to voice their thoughts. They knew that the relationship between Grissom and Catherine was something beyond definition. They were more than coworkers, maybe more than friends, but not quite lovers. Both Nick and Warrick knew it was not their place to comment on the relationship, so they simply went to find Sara and go get some breakfast, hopefully allowing Gil and Cath some much-needed privacy.

Back in the locker room, Cath finally pulled away from Gil to once again look into his eyes. The tears had stopped flowing, but they had left their mark. She rubbed his cheeks soothingly; gently passing her fingers over his eyelids as they fluttered closed at her touch. Placing her hands on either side of his face, she pulled his head down once again, this time to rest her forehead against his.

"Let's get out of here."

She wrapped her hands around his arm, pulling him out of the locker room. They gathered their stuff then exited, heading towards her Tahoe. Both remained silent as they walked down the halls, nodding at coworkers who greeted them. She kept her hands on his upper arm the whole way, leaning against him to offer support the best way she could. Some of the people they passed were a little surprised to see the intimate contact, especially since it involved `Gruesome' Grissom, but he and Catherine were oblivious. In the parking lot they saw Nick, Warrick, and Sara about to climb into Nick's ride. The three younger CSI's offered short waves, then headed off. Catherine was surprised that they hadn't tried to join Grissom and herself, but knew that she couldn't think about it. All her attention was to be devoted to the man beside her. They separated at the back of her car, and once they were both settled in their seats, she took off for her house. She didn't want him to be alone, and knew that if she dropped him off at his own townhouse he wouldn't let her stay. Holding him hostage seemed to be her best option.

Twenty minutes later they were seated on her sofa, decaf coffees in hand. It seemed pretty clear to her that he definitely didn't need any caffeine right now. After sipping their drinks in silence for a few minutes, she set her mug down.

"Gil, what happened back there?"

He sighed, placing his coffee next to hers and running a hand through his hair.

"Ben Jennings...he killed himself. He was going to go to prison for a crime his brother committed, and he killed himself because he was afraid of being in prison for the rest of his life. And I'm the reason he was there. I put him in jail; I left him with no other choice than to take his own life. Because I couldn't do my job well enough to prove that the person I know committed the crime did it. Everyone knew his brother did it, but because I couldn't prove it, he was able to frame Ben. I killed that kid, Cath."

The tears in her eyes mirrored the ones shining in his, and she reached across the couch to grasp his hands resting on his thighs. She rubbed her thumbs over the tops of his hands in small circles, at the same time sliding across the sofa to sit next to him. She stopped when their knees touched, pulling his hands to rest on the tops of her legs.

"You are not responsible for what happened to him, Gil. His brother is the only person to blame. And you should know better than anyone else that there's only so much we can do. We work with what we're given and sometimes it just isn't enough. Ben Jennings' brother may go unpunished, but that doesn't mean that you deserve to suffer in his place."

He wanted to believe her, but he couldn't keep the guilt from rising within him. Deep down, he knew that he could have done something to prevent this from happening. Catherine caught and held his gaze, but he couldn't school his features enough to fool her. He had never been able to hide himself from her.

"There was nothing more you could have done."

Gil knew that there was no point in arguing with her; she always won. He sighed in resignation, nodded his head, and hoped like hell that she would let him off the hook. Fatigue was sweeping through his body at an alarming rate, and he was struggling to keep his eyes open. As usual, Catherine noticed how tired he was becoming, and smiling she stood up, pulling on his hands.

"You need to get some sleep; you're exhausted. Come on, you're staying here tonight."

Part of him was hesitant to join her, but the other half was afraid of losing her support. Still debating internally, he didn't seem to realize he was allowing himself to be pulled to her bedroom. When they reached her bed she sat him down on it, then turned to her closet and quickly changed into pajamas. She looked back at him expectantly, and as if under her command, he stripped down to his boxers and undershirt. When they got settled in, she lay her head on his chest and draped an arm across his stomach. Sighing, she nestled against him and closed her eyes. They remained closed even when his voice hesitantly broke the silence.

"Thank you, Catherine. I don't know what would've happened to me, what I would've done, if you weren't here for me."

She smiled and rubbed her cheek against his strong shoulder.

"I'm always here for you, Gil; don't ever forget that."

"I won't. I love you, Cath."

The last part was whispered, said so quietly she almost missed it. But she knew he had said it, and the way it came out so naturally brought an even wider smile to her face. She raised her head just enough to kiss his jaw, then laid back down on his chest.

"I love you too, Gil."

That was the last thing he heard before he succumbed to exhaustion and it provided him with the peace of mind he had needed to believe that somehow, with her help, he would survive this ordeal and any other that he would ever face.