~~ 1 ~~

How could he let her do this?

The case is clearly mine, *I mean* ours! I've been waiting for something like this for so long and I need this now, more than ever. My one shot. And now SHE is taking the case away from me. Damn. Like she doesn't have enough on her plate already. High-profiled expert, my ass! I know I'm not exactly the people person here but come on, give me a little credit. At least I don't go screwing up evidence and blowing up labs now, do I? And how the hell does she do that?! Looking smug and confident and...

And then HIM... he's just standing there! Chewing on the insides of his cheek. Just freakin' standing there. And it's like he's not even hearing a word I've been saying. Great. Just great. I've been overtalking again. I see this is useless. Of course he'll give it to her. He always does that. Always taking her side. Like what he does with Warrick. Only in her case, it's a bit different. Coz he never treats her like a subordinate.

It's not like I'm jealous or anything. But I mean, why her? Why not me? I know I could take her on. I'm just as capable. And after everything that has happened, he's still gonna trust her with this.

I just don't get it. Always her. It's not fair.

~~ 2 ~~

Oh God, not again!

I see where this is going. This is beginning to look a lot like the Holly Gribbs case. or Eddie's rape charges. I see the look on her face. And it's not pretty. It's not that I hate her. But my jaw's really starting to hurt from all this pent-up frustration. Yeah whatever. My jaw could take it. This isn't the first time I've had to bite down my words anyway. It's just that I know this woman and she could probably railroad just about anyone into doing her way. Don't get me wrong. That's actually a good thing when she's on your side. Been on that road before and she totally saved my ass. I'm not ungrateful. So it's a very good thing. But try being on the opposite side of the fence and baaam.. it sucks. Big time.

Then I turn to him, looking all grim and silent. Oh I know that look as well. The Senior CSI. Yeah right. But then who gets to have the final say? She certainly knows how to put her foot down on something. And then he just lets her get away with practically anything. All the time. So much so that between the two of them, there are times when I wonder who the real boss is around here.

I know that Sara could argue the night away but it's still not gonna be worth anything. It's not like he's gonna change his mind. He has already made a decision. As always. And the thing is, I find this hardly surprising. I mean, what's new?!

~~ 3 ~~

2 seconds of shock. A flash of self-pity. 5 seconds of righteous indignation. And there it finally was. Anger. Pure venom. Reflected in two sets of brown accusing eyes. If looks could kill, right? Riight. Lucky for me I've learned a long time ago that looks are pretty much harmless. It's the actual physical violence that can break your bones. Yeah, lucky me. Still, I felt like cringing at the looks on their faces. But of course I'd die first before I'd let them see it. Horror. Disgust. Fear. Hurt. It's dangerous to wear these emotions on your face. Coz it could be totally used against you. So I learned to hide behind aggression. Or arrogance. Or whichever's necessary. It's better this way. I wouldn't have survived if I didn't. And now, I don't even have to think about it. It has become second nature. Years of practice certainly does that.

I hear what they're saying. It's not that I blame them. It's just sad that they don't hear me. I zig, they zag. And I know I tend to say the wrong things anyway. So shoot me, I'm not perfect. So sorry for the pain but I'm not gonna hold their hands and soothe their egos until they get over it. While the killer just walks away. We have no time for that. Damnit. They should know that by now.

If they just stop for a second and set aside those agendas, then maybe they'll see this for the case that it just is. That it's not about me stepping on their toes. Nor is it about me redeeming myself. It's not a race among us but against time. It's about finding the body. It should be about the victim, the evidence and the justice that should be rightfully served.

Of course this particular case speaks to me. How can it not? I try not to think about it but.. man..

... that could've been me.

~~ 4 ~~

I saw the walls go up before she even realized it. She's got that look on her face again. But a second was all I needed. A split second to see that she's all torn up about this. She's probably seeing herself in the vic back when she first came to Vegas. She's hurting and she's trying her best not to let anybody else see her pain. That's another thing she's good at. Well, she almost succeeded. Almost.

I've tuned out their voices. I don't need the distraction. Coz I can see pretty good. They've got her nailed to the cross. That's what I hate about office politics. So much crap gets in the way. Always a fodder for trouble. They think she's power tripping. I can see it in their eyes. Judging from their looks, they'll surely give her hell for this. Though I'm not worried coz I know she can handle it. She always does. Even better than I can manage. But it doesn't sit well with me when people misjudge her intentions for something else. And it pains me to know that the sting will still get to her, even if she's never gonna admit it. Yes, I know better. Years upon years of watching each other's backs can do that to you.

I see the fire in the depths of her eyes. I know that look. That passion of hers is the double-edged sword that she arms herself with every single day. It's what weighs her down from time to time. But it's also the very same force that drives her and makes her the sharp criminalist that she is right now. It cuts both ways. And then she turned her icy blue stare on my own. As if daring me. Even if she already knows my answer.

Right now, she needs the case. And the case needs her. That's the crux of the matter.

That plus the fact that try as I might, I seem to be incapable of denying the woman anything.