Catherine spins around in the chair as Nick and Warrick lean against the wall," You okay"

"Yeah fine," she takes a drag off her cigarette and looks at the clock," I want to do the talent show fundraiser"

"I thought we were going to keep this a secret"

"I can't keep lying to Gil okay sooner or later he's going to think I'm cheating on him"

"I don't know Cath"

"Nick War. In three years we've layed down three hits and made a good amount of money"

"Good amount"

"Okay a great amount for splitting it three ways after paying everyone. I just.....I know in the beginning it was my idea for no one to know about us and to not go national and international but I want to be able to do it like everyone else sometimes and I don't wanna lie anymore"

"Fine we can come out"

"Thank you. Nick you in on this"

"I guess"

"Okay let's lay the next one down an then we're done for the day"

"Alright lets hit it," Catherine stands up and grabs her guitar and puts it on and Warrick grabs the bass while Nick sits down at the drums," Okay Kenny on three feed it back to me"

"Okay"

"One two one two three," they start playing and Catherine bobbs her head for a second then starts singing," There is a pounding in my head. Can't go to sleep can't go to bed. My eyes are bleeding golden ore don't let it happen any mooooooooooore. I need sombody keep me sane. Don't wanna be alone again. My heart pounds deeply and I caaaaaaaaaaan't sleeeeeeeeep. Been on my own for hours now and the golden hues are turning red. My eyes are bleeding human blood and the darkness is setting in," she stops singing and starts jamming on her guitar for about a minute and a half then she returns to the original beat," The darkness is over now and IIIIIIIIIIII juuuuuuuuuuuuust neeeeeeeeeeeeed to stop the blood. The whooooooooole roooooooooooom iiiiiiiiiiiss turning red. Cannooooooooooooooot open the door again. As I sliiiiiiiiiiiiip further and further in I cannot begin to fiiiiiiiiiiind a way out. So as the blood slowly stops I don't see the sun," slowly they fade out and Catherine smiles," What'd ya think"

"Amazing I'll lay it on the CD tonight"

"Thanks can you pack them up I'm going to take the guitar home tonight"

"Okay Catherine"

"Come on guys let's go and get ready for shift," they walk out of the recording studio and go to their houses. Catherine walks through the door and Lindsey's on the couch playing with her 6 year old sister, Ashton, and in the playpen on the floor is Andrew, 2 years old, and 2 month old Emma and Hannah," Gil honey"

"In the kitchen," she goes into the kitchen and smiles at Gil as he puts the last dish in the dishwasher and starts it," Hey how was your day"

"Good you"

"Kids were great"

"What about you"

"Feels a little lonely around here without you"

"I know and I'm sorry I'll make it up to you I promise"

"Maybe another baby"

"Maybe....," she smiles at him and he runs his hands down her sides," Gorgeous absolutely gorgeous"

"Thank you"

"I fed the twins about an hour ago they should be asleep in a bit, Lindsey and Ashton should start on their homework soon as for Andrew I don't know what to do with him"

"He should go down for a bit"

"Okay"

"What about dinner"

"I was thinking chinese and a movie"

"You really know the way to our hearts don't you"

"I'll make the call in a bit"

"Okay," she leans up and starts kissing him.

*****************************************************************

Catherine hears Lindsey playing their last CD, Black Diablos: Fighting For Life, she smiles and goes in," Hey"

"Hey mom"

"You really like Black Diablos don't you"

"They are like the best band ever it just sucks no one knows who they are"

"Yeah I pulled alot of strings and they decided to come out and they agreed to play at the benefit next week"

"NO WAY"

"Way"

"You sooooooo rock mom"

"Good so are you coming"

"Totally," she starts singing along to the song and it gets to Catherines favorite part," Going home every night because I'm fighting for my life"

"Mom"

"Yeah honey"

"You sing really good"

"Thanks honey"

"Does dad have to work tonight"

"For half a shift"

"Oh"

"Why"

"Nothing we were just supposed to stay up and watch scary movies all night I guess he forgot"

"Let me talk to him you know your dad he gets shifts confused sometimes"

"No it's fine I was getting tired anyway"

"Okay honey"

"Love you forever"

"Forever and ever," she gets up and shuts Lindseys door behind her. All the kids had gone to bed and Gil was in the kitchen. She goes in and he's putting left overs in the fridge," You do know Linds is on the verge of tears because you have to work"

"Why"

"You told her the both of you would stay up and watch scary movies. Damnit Gil this is the third time"

"Damnit that was tonight"

"Yeah it was"

"I'll be back in about 20 mins okay"

"Gil...."

"I promise," he grabs his keys and leaves. About 20 mins later he walks through the door with a grocery sack in his hand. He sets it on the table and goes up to Lindseys room. Knocking on the door he hears a sniff," Yeah"

"Hey it's me can I come in"

"Yeah hang on real quick," he hears rustling and then goes in," Hey I thought we were watching movies tonight"

"Mom said you had to work"

"They just called and don't need me"

"I didn't hear the phone ring"

"Okay you want the truth I forgot I'm sorry"

"This is the third time"

"I know and I'm sorry"

"Why do you always put work first"

"I don't always put work first"

"Yes you do when you and mom were trying to have Ashton you always put work before her I might have been 7 but I know she almost left you and now....why"

"I don't know any more honey it's a compulsion I have"

"STOP for once stop saying you don't know or you don't always. When Ashton had her science fair you were there when I was going to cheerleading finals you weren't. When Andrew took his first steps you raced home when I made the scoring point for volleyball you were talking on your cell about a decomp. You may not always put work first but you always put it before me. I.....everything I have ever done you always say you wish you could have been there I'm tired of it"

"Don't cry"

"I am way past crying I get made fun of because only mom's there when I say both of you are going to be there. Quit making me different just because I'm not yours doesn't mean you have to treat me that way," she jumps off her bed and runs out of the house. Gil runs after her," LINDSEY"

"Leave me alone"

"STOP PLEASE STOP," she stops walking and he catches up to her," I am sorry"

"Stop apologizing"

"Do you even know any of the story"

"What story"

"About why you're here and why your mom named you Lindsey"

"I don't care"

"If it wasn't for me you wouldn't even be here"

"What are you talking about," she turns to him," Walk with me"

"Okay," they start walking," Your moms going to kill me for telling you this. When she found out she was pregnant with you things started going haywire in her mind. She was hospitalized for 3 weeks with dehydration. When she got out Eddie had been in LA since she found out and hadn't told him"

"She was going to abort me wasn't she"

"For a while yeah. Like I said she was haywired. She had just gotten off of the drugs and into the lab. She was still going through withdrawl and your dad hitting her wasn't helping any. So I took her to Montana for a couple days and we talked and she decided that this was her chance to make a new life"

"Why Lindsey"

"To her I guess the name left it open for you to be your own person. Linden with trees by water is not exactly a way to describe someone"

"Oh"

"I don't mean to treat you different or put anything before you because I made the promise I wouldn't do that when you were born. For some reason it just happens but you know what"

"What"

"Next to your mom I've loved you the longest"

"Good," she smiles and hugs him," You up for some scary movies"

"You get the stuff"

"Yeah it's at home"

"Okay"

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TBC