WARRICK

Warrick shut his phone with a smile on his face. He glanced up just in time to catch the sight of Catherine's retreat back, watching as she ran into Grissom. The tiny smirk on his boss' face probably went unnoticed by every passerby, except for him and Catherine.

Life was normal; everything just as it was before. While Grissom was mainly engaged in taking care of his bugs - avoiding Ecklie every time the director needed him the most, Catherine still caught the eyes of every man around the lab each time she passed by. Sara was still a workaholic, trying to pull the most overtime ­maybe with a bit lighter attitude. Greg gaining more and more experience on the job every day. Nick still fought hard to uncover the truth, doing his best to honor the memory of the victims. It was all typical and quiet with the occasional rush that the high profile cases brought.

The others gone by now; it was just him, Cath and of course Grissom left from grave shift. Tonight seemed to be just like any other night. Except… everything was different. He slipped his cell into his pocket as the amusement which was caused by his phone conversation slowly disappeared from his face. He tried to leave, but his gaze was fixated on the back of her head.

He held his breath when he saw Grissom give her a kiss. A quick, yet lingering taste of her plump and oh so desirable lips. He should have gotten used to it by now, but he couldn't. It's been one and a half months since they stopped keeping it secret that they were together.

It had been the very night when his secret divorce was finalized, when he had decided that life was just too short to miss out another minute with the woman he loved and decided to make a run for her. It was the very night he so eagerly rushed to the lab, bringing along the piece of paper that meant the world to him… only to notice the oh so familiar scenario of Grissom's hand on her lower back.

They had always been tight, everyone knew that. But in the minute he had taken a glance at them he knew it wasn't just the usual intimacy of two friends anymore. In that moment, their physical proximity that had been present in the last couple of weeks delivered the last piece of the puzzle.

When Nick had patted him on the back, whispering the news of Catherine and Grissom's newfound romance ­his world fell apart. He was late. Life was short and despite his best efforts, his wrong choices made him miss out on it. Sadly, he couldn't even blame anyone else but himself. The couple always made sure to remain professional; and if someone didn't know, they wouldn't have guessed that they were an item.

Yet, Warrick always seemed to catch those stolen moments, the suggestive and caring glances that they occasionally threw at each other or the protective gestures Grissom seemed to do unconsciously even when she didn't notice it.

They were about to go home. Catherine took the jacket from Grissom and they turned to leave but to Warrick's biggest surprise, she turned to his direction. Whether it was unintentional or she knew that he was there, he didn't know. All he knew was their eye contact, staring back at her without a word. His lips turned slightly upward, giving her the best smile he could manage in that moment.

She returned it for a brief moment before she turned and left… with Grissom.

Warrick stood in silence for a few more minutes before he remembered that he had to go as well. Someone was waiting for him.

The early morning light coming in through his car window seemed to bother him more today. Everything was bright and shiny - exactly opposite his mood. He blamed the sun for the stinging of his eyes as he put on his sunglasses.

When Catherine dignified her confession of love with those carefully chosen words, he felt like a lost boy. He was torn and as the days turned into weeks… and then months, he realized he'd been living a lie. Nick's kidnapping affected him and he knew he had to change. But it didn't change his ways.

The sentiment, the need to really live while he had the chance, was unfortunately made with the same sudden and careless thinking he had during his gambling days. Maybe he was intimidated, momentarily charmed by Tina, mixing up the incredible amount of lust and fun with actual love. Although deep down he knew, he was just too coward to ask Catherine out.

He had his doubts already the morning after his wedding, but when Catherine confessed and he realized his attraction and affection was mutual ­he immediately took her for granted. Guilt, his need to woo and conscience combined didn't let him leave his brand new wife. Not just yet. But as the more time passed, the more Warrick realized that he was fooling three people… Tina, Catherine and himself.

Tina, because he never loved her enough to want to spend the rest of his life with her. Catherine, because he truly loved her, yet she was the one he kept at distance. And finally himself, thinking that letting Tina play house a bit more was a lot better than humiliating her with wanting to divorce so soon.

Warrick stopped the engine in front of the house and sighed.

It all backfired. He hurt Tina more with each passing day, and put even more distance between him and Catherine. And when he finally realized what was the right thing to do, his own stupidity and fate punished him. He was late. Catherine was not available anymore.

He stepped out of his car, locked it and made his way to the door.

With a disastrous marriage behind and the lessons he learnt of the whole experience made him bolder though. It never crossed his mind to talk to Catherine anymore. She often smiled, evidently had someone to help her out with Lindsey and she was more beautiful than ever. Her happiness became priority to his own and if it meant he had to let her go, then he was willing to do it. He had no right to interfere in it anymore.

Ironically fate twisted its game yet again and his unexpected encounter with a certain person indicated an attempt from the gods above to let him find his own way. Physically ­it was satisfying, but the emotion that bind them together was nothing else than longing. Longing for a special someone.

He ran into her in the courtroom a couple of times. And at one particular occasion, reluctantly she let him help her out. They found a common beat and Las Vegas' unique dominatrix had another CSI she could consider a friend. They started sleeping together after Grissom and Catherine officially became a couple.

When she opened the door for him, he stepped in and shut it behind. Lady Heather looked into his eyes and could read him like an open book. ­Just like he could read her. She's been crying again: It's been half a year since Zoe was killed, but this was a wound that will never heal. Heather would eventually learn to live with the agony, but it will never disappear.

She never showed weakness, just tenderness. He never saw her crying, but could always tell when she did. And at times like these, when her eyes were redder than usual ­even when she thought she hid it well, he knew her sorrow was combined with the loss of someone else too.

Life was just so complicated.

He took her face in his hands and tilted it upwards. He lowered his lips to her and brushed them against hers. Before it could have gotten serious, he pulled back and looked her in the eyes.

"I love her," he whispered.

She held his gaze in silence for a few seconds before she replied.

"And I love him."

It wasn't the first time they made that clear, yet the need to do so each time before they got lost in each other was strong. His lips crashed down on hers, pulling her aching body closer to him.

Heather was an incredibly complex, smart and beautiful woman: In and out. But she wasn't Catherine. They never had the closeness he had shared with Catherine, even without physical proximity. But both he and Heather found emotional closeness in the knowledge that both of them felt the same…

They couldn't be with whom they loved because life, circumstances and wrong decisions blew their chances.

He could feel her tongue enter his mouth before he lifted her up and turned toward the bedroom. She wasn't Catherine for him, and he wasn't Grissom for her. They were Warrick and Heather, sharing a bed and an emotion ­but never their hearts.

CATHERINE

She had just come up behind him when she heard him uttering the name again… Heather. She knew there was going to be a time when it would no longer make her heart ache. One day. Maybe.

"You're bad."

She heard him laughing into the phone. Catherine put up her façade and walked past him. They would talk some other time. Some time when she didn't have to put up with the so familiar feeling of rejection. Because each time she looked at Warrick, the images of what could have been filled her senses.

Lost in thought, she didn't even notice Grissom approaching her. She ran into him but the smirk on his face told her he didn't mind. To her biggest surprise, he gave her a kiss. It surprised her that he didn't seem to care that they were in the hallway and suddenly the feeling of rejection was replaced by appreciation.

He handed her the jacket and she put it on. They were about to leave when she sensed the green pair of eyes burning a hole in the back of her head. She turned around and she found herself staring at Warrick.

Her heart skipped a beat as she held his gaze. She saw a smile on his face and she returned it. Then she felt Grissom's hand on her back and it brought her back to reality. Life was short. She had moved on. At least she tried, so she had to go.

Catherine remained silent all the way home. She figured Grissom must have sensed what she was thinking about. He never mentioned Warrick ­neither did she, but both of them knew about it. In the past half year so many things happened, and she hadn't fully grasped them yet.

Ever since Warrick got married ­to be precise, ever since her confession; she felt incredibly stupid around him. She loved him, and her fascination grew when she realized he was not going to hold it against her. He flirted with her once, and despite her knowing that he was far from a jerk ­it came across wrong. Very wrong.

But despite his efforts to respect her feelings, and his attempts to get back to their friendly banters, he never discussed the whole issue with her. She should have gotten the hint back then. He didn't return her feelings. Still, she kept on telling herself that his whole marriage with Tina was an act. Marriage was tough business; she of all people knew that. She kept on fooling herself by believing that Warrick would change his mind.

He didn't. At least not for her.

She remembered the day when Lady Heather returned. The case touched them all. Her presence touched Grissom, and Zoe's death touched Catherine. Cath stayed away when she saw that Grissom was doing his best to remain professional.

Soon things got back to normal. Gil was business as usual. Irony crept into their lives when they had to go to court. As if losing a child wasn't enough, Lady Heather had to pay for losing control. Just like Grissom, Warrick and Nick ­Catherine testified and supported the dominatrix. But one day at the court she noticed Warrick in a conversation with her. This should have been her second clue.

Soon life went on and it changed everything. Lady Heather's name popped up frequently. A fact that wouldn't have surprised her, if it wasn't for Warrick's lips uttering it.

Then she remembered that particular morning at Grissom's place… she fixed herself her ususal screwdriver while he made breakfast. She couldn't remember the last time they did that. The last two years has been tough on both of them and quite often she had wondered where their friendship was heading.

But Nick's kidnapping taught them all a lesson. And Catherine soon realized that Grissom slowly, but steadily, was reaching out to her. His ususal closed up attitude slipped away and she was allowed to see more of her friend again.

That morning in his house though, she got to see a lot more of him than she ever had or expected to. Suddenly it wasn't only his actions that were speaking ­his thoughts and sentiments were expressed in a true Grissomesque style; enigmatic, distant and spiced up with one or two quotes. But what he had to say was definitely a lot more than what she was used to.

He never spoke the name, but Catherine had been there enough times to realize that Grissom was suffering. It amazed her how similar of a situation they both were in. Both heartbroken over someone they couldn't have. That morning changed everything, because two weeks later their intimacy reached unexplored levels.

Grissom never offered her the world and never promised her cheesy things. He knew promises did nothing for her and instead he remained true to himself. His actions spoke for themselves. Catherine found it odd how easily she could switch from friends to lovers with him. She figured that the need for someone to understand, to share with, and to care for was mutual. And it was natural for both of them to direct it at each other. They had always been close, so in desperate times their friendship was a great base of their relationship.

They knew that they each needed time to forget and to get over their heartache, but they both found the perfect person to care for. Her priority was Lindsey and Catherine knew her daughter would have no problem with accepting Gil. So she went into it, knowing that time would make the bruises fade. Time and Gil.

But the cuts were re-opened and the realization was cold when Catherine found out that Warrick had gotten divorced. Just right when she was getting better and moving on, suddenly her could-have-beens became what-ifs and guilt had spread through her. It wasn't fair to Grissom. She couldn't live like that, and she knew she had to end her inner misery.

A few weeks passed before she finally decided to be fair to them all. But just when she decided to have a final heart to heart with Warrick -to get everything straight, she saw him with her. He kissed her and she kissed him back.

Right then and there, sitting in her SUV at his apartment, she watched as they said their good-byes. Despite grief engulfing Lady Heather's presence, the smiles on their faces and the lustful kiss said it all. Warrick got divorced. ­But not for Catherine.

That was the moment when Catherine knew that her what-ifs will always be could-have-beens. Warrick didn't return her feelings, but was gentleman enough not to torture or humiliate her about it. Knowing that it was all up to her, she left and went straight to Gil.

She was honest ­her passion and tenacity that he loved so much surfaced, and she told him she was heartbroken but she'd try. With a nod of his head he acknowledged her, gave her a reassuring smile and pulled her into a hug. Catherine knew she made the right choice. Despite her biggest efforts to seem brave and confident, Grissom still figured what she needed in that moment. Closeness, understanding and affection.

Panting heavily, Catherine stretched her legs a bit before she went limp. She felt his lips on her neck, his breath ragged as he kept on moving above her. It didn't take long before he fell over the edge too. Spent, he collapsed above her, making sure to support his weight on his elbows.

Her fingertips slowly caressed the skin of his bare back, while normal breathing slowly returned to both of them. As he buried his face in her hair, she put her temple against his head. She never thought they'd get to this point ever. She never cared for his type anyway. Still, making love to Grissom was both emotionally and physically fulfilling.

He wasn't Warrick, but he was passionate. He might not take her as hard or be as rough with her as Warrick might have, but Grissom was a great lover nevertheless. She'd always love Warrick, but it just wasn't in the cards. There's a part of her that Grissom will never see; just like a piece of her heart that still, and always will be, dedicated to Warrick.

But life is short and they had to go on. Catherine made a vow to give her best and love Grissom as much as she could. He was doing better than her anyway. Maybe because of his character, or just a very self-conscious decision to lock that part of him away, Grissom seemed to have moved on. Catherine knew Lady Heather would always hold a special place with Grissom, but he had her now and he was concentrating on her and Lindsey.

Seeing Grissom from this brand new angle filled her days as did Lindsey and work. And her efforts to forget what she could not have. He wasn't Warrick for her, and she wasn't Lady Heather for him. They were Gil and Catherine, sharing a bed and an emotion. And even a great piece of their hearts.

The End
*gulps*